Buhari, Chakwera’s London Education Summit

Nigerians are very difficult to serve. You can confirm that from my good friend, Femi Adesina. We were all aware that President Muhammadu Buhari was on his way to London when news broke that a VIP was on his way in a crate; sorry helicopter. The president cancelled his trip to welcome the incoming President of Biafra, HE Nnamdi Kanu. Buhari postponed his trip to ensure that Kanu got the exclusive prosecution he deserves.

If that is not patriotism displayed at the highest level, please tell me what is? With a pending invite from the Global Education Summit, the president could not wait for the release of over 300 school children still in the claws of kidnappers. London helps the president check up a few tweaking bones and stiff sinews.

We have passed the level of asking for a functional hospital for the president’s welfare. This altruistic president prefers to keep the same doctor that has catered for him since his talakawa days. A true meaning of loyalty. Now that the president is killing two birds with a stone, even Simo Häyhä, the world’s greatest marksman, could not have matched his feat.

The president cares so much about our education to honour the invite to London to talk about it. In London, he declared that a man could not function beyond his educational endowment; an honourable thing to say for a man whose enemies pillory for not having a basic school certificate.  They also claimed that he flunked all his military courses with distinction. But all his children have London certificates and the constitution does not require a passed school certificate.

Our president deserves a pride of place in a virtual summit. Virtual learning is the way of the future. Under this president, schools have closed down more than they have remained open. First, it was because academic and non-academic staff unions swore that Nigeria’s failed schools, like its hospitals, are not worth their signposts.

Just as Eagle One was taxiing off, ASUU and NASU were gearing up for another round of strikes. In our own North, kidnappers have ensured that schools not affected by strikes are closed for good. Apparently,, the London summit must hold the keys to solving these issues, because nobody understands the value of success that those who have breasted failure at every endeavour, yet are rewarded handsomely for it.

Having technically defeated Boko Haram that declared modern education a sin, seeking virtual help to redeem the educationally disadvantaged North is worth learning in London. The UK capital provides the most serene atmosphere to meditate on how to hoist the flag of education again. You cannot do that in Abuja with all the political pollution, and in Kaduna, government is trying ignorance as the substitute to learning – a smooth surrender to the enemies of progress.

In the hands of Sheikh Gumi’s altruistic bandits, kidnapped children could learn a lot about jungle survival than they could from A B C D. When the president returns with the key to restarting educational pursuits, even his enemies would shudder at how fast the North would catch up with its counterparts in educational advancement. Take that to the bank and not the bureau de change.

Buhari knew what he was doing when he waited six months to form a cabinet. Things run better when one man is in charge. Since the ministers were appointed, everything has gone South – schools have closed; the naira has lost the momentum to fight for stability. In sports, we are disgraced with doping scandals, and now our best cop is declared wanted for corruption by the FBI. If Buhari had been running the show singlehandedly, he could have earned the blame.

With the exception of the vanity awards usually bestowed by rogue journalists, no minister has earned a laurel for service. Buhari went to London and wowed them with his deep understanding of educational matters. His education minister could not have done worse. He demonstrated that Nigeria’s moribund educational system would hop, step and jump to beat the Chinese, Indians and other nations on the relay race to the advancement of humanity.

Hail our president who went to London with the frugality of a talaka. Unlike Malawi’s phonetic-speaking Lazarus Chakwera; with no presidential jet. Chakwera’s trip was sponsored by the United Kingdom. Malawi’s leader beat his Nigerian counterpart in running government on the fuel of nepotism. When his 15-member list was whittled down to 10, he brought his wife, his daughter and his son-in-law.

Nobody could accuse our revered President Buhari of ever taking his wife on an official trip. He is pleased to have her virtuously in the kitchen, the sitting room and the other room. It is believed these virtues were espoused at the London summit where the sub-theme was: “Transforming Education for Girls”. Girls have never had it so good with kidnappers.

The wages of corruption

We had almost forgotten Ramon Abbas aka Hushpuppi until the Americans fished him out of the sand dunes of the UAE a year ago. The Americans gave Hushpuppi a free ride from Dubai to Washington DC where they confronted him with incontrovertible evidence of his false past. He is looking at 20 years behind bars.

But Abass is not going alone. Others will go with him, including publicity-seeking super cop, Abba Kyari. Kyari led SARS and other groups which operations forced Nigerian youths to embark on a protest that Buhari claimed was sponsored to remove him from office.

Now, the Americans have issued an international bench warrant for Kyari who lives larger than the life of a policeman and is often in the company of people of dubious wealth. Initially, Kyari sought to parry his role by saying he only laundered Hushpuppi’s traditional regalia. Abbas was not known to wear much local fabric. He preferred international brands that often make him look like a pig dressed in jewels.

Quite unusual, the police bumbled its way with Kyari’s involvement. First, they exculpated him of the crime but soon set up an investigation panel which recommended Kyari’s suspension. The Inspector General of Police (IGP) has now endorsed that advice.

The police only roast an indicted officer if he “chops” alone. Outside of that, they know that our memories are short and Kyari’s indictment may mean nothing except for FBI involvement.

In 2005, then police commissioner, Danjuma Ibrahim, “commanded” an operation that led to the murder of six young Nigerians popularly known as the Apo Six. Police tried to hush it up but for public interest. Danjuma was suspended for two years. A police witness died in mysterious circumstances. Danjuma “won” his case, was reinstated and even paid lost wages. His promotion has been rapid since then. He is now an Assistant Inspector General (AIG).

From this and other high profile links to Nigerians accused of crimes in the US, including a famous airline operator, the lawmakers accused of sexual harassment while on a fellowship in the US, Nigeria appears to know how to keep its favoured from facing justice in foreign lands.

Already, Kyari’s employers and fans query the stretch of American law on a Nigerian cop, his narcissistic love for Nollywood style showboating and friendship with questionable characters notwithstanding.

In Tokyo, traditional acts of professional negligence have sullied the nation’s reputation at the Olympics. Not punishing crime emboldens criminals. Those fingered in these things must go.