‘Why I begged my husband to marry another wife’

Kehinde Ugbede suffers from a chronic kidney disease that requires a kidney transplant. The Abuja-based entrepreneur said since the disease was diagnosed two months after she married Francis Ugbede in 2017, her marriage has suffered.

She said after they got married; they were with high hopes and aspirations typical of newly wedded couples, not knowing what the future held.

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Two months into the marriage, things took a different turn when Kehinde, a banker that resigned to go into entrepreneurship, was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease at the Kubwa General Hospital, Abuja.

“The health issue got serious in 2017 and we did not know about it. We were busy treating malaria as diagnosed in the hospitals. I was going in and out of the hospital but in November 2017, I went to Kubwa General Hospital and I was told I had anaemia and needed two pints of blood. On the 18th of that month, I was admitted and given two pints of blood without a proper test to know what caused the shortage of blood

“After one week, another shortage of blood was discovered and the doctor asked to get another pint of blood,” she said, adding that she was also treated for malaria, typhoid several times before she was told she had kidney disease. She was still hopeful only to be told a few days later that the kidney disease had turned chronic.

Kehinde, who met our reporter while undergoing dialysis at a centre in Lokogoma, said she was amazed that a kidney disease could turn chronic in a matter of days.

“Then the battle started. I expended all my savings from my last job as a banker which I had planned to use for my event planning business and sold our property to raise the required money for a kidney transplant,” she said.

She said after raising a substantial part of the required fees for the kidney transplant, a kidney donor was hindered due to some issues, adding that when the donor later agreed and had to be brought to Abuja, part of the money had been spent on dialysis. Three years on, she is fighting to raise N15million for the kidney transplant in an attempt not only to save her marriage but to ultimately save her life. The pressure to raise the money made everything around her crumble.

Her nascent marriage was greatly affected while her business associates and friends have deserted her. Several people have also refused to receive her calls, but her husband, who has stood firmly behind her, provided the needed support and succour.

“It has affected my marriage in a lot of ways. My husband has been the one running around for me in Abuja because my family is not here. I bless the day I met him because he is my support system. I don’t know if I would have still been alive, if I was not married because he dedicated his time to me at all times. He loves me more than himself,” she said.

“My husband is a teacher and works extra time daily. He goes from one home lesson to another to put something on the table,” adding  that she told him to take another wife or have a girlfriend “when I was told that I had a chronic kidney disease or that we should go our separate ways.”

She said friends also advised him to opt-out of the marriage since due to her condition, they could not conjugate and there’s no possibility of raising children, but he declined. She said he had suffered greatly instead of the bliss that comes with a wedding which was not her plan or intention.

Kehinde said her husband and his family supported and remain supportive, adding that it pains her to see him go through hardship all for her.

“There are times I won’t be able to sleep at night because I do not have enough money for regular dialysis. During those periods, he would not sleep as well. There are times that I have a crisis while undergoing dialysis and would have to return home late, he would always be there to take me in,” she said.

In a chat with Daily Trust, Kehinde’s husband Francis explained why he remained in the marriage, “I can say in a nutshell that God has made me stay with her despite the gravity of the health situation. The situation has really brought lots of setbacks because it happened two months into the marriage. From then till now, I can say the challenges have really been bitter but God has been the only sweetness in it.”

Francis, who said the day of his wedding ceremony was his happiest day, said he had tried to get his wife and marriage back on track, but still hopes on God, “There is nothing much I can do than to trust in God to help us raise people to come to our aid because I don’t have the funds to take care of the situation.”

Kehinde Ugbede said people had supported her. While shelding tears, she said, there was nowhere or nothing she could do to raise the required N15million for the kidney transplant, adding those donations from friends, families, neighbours, former school mates and good Nigerians “go for dialysis at least twice in a week including treatment and blood injections. I need N15 million now I don’t have any money on the ground due to the twice a week dialysis cost of N70,000.”