How did you get over heartbreak?

Suffering from heartbreak is almost inevitable. This is because human beings are not perfect. We tend to make mistakes that would disappoint or break someone else’s heart. The important thing is getting back on your feet after such trauma. LifeXtra takes a look at how some people got over their heartbreak

We all have different coping mechanisms. Some people block out the pain, others lash out, while some deal with it in healthy ways.

James Ndubuisi, a 29-year-old nurse and resident of Lagos, said he has had only one heartbreak in his life and it was heart wrenching. “I was still in school when I experienced my heartbreak. I really didn’t think something like that would happen to me because I was faithful to my then girlfriend. She was also a student and I thought I was doing everything right. I was obviously deceiving myself. I discovered she was cheating on me when I needed to use her phone to call a friend of mine. That is when I saw a text message coming in. The message exposed her and I was really sad. It really affected me because I was close to writing my exams. I had to pull myself for the exams because failure wasn’t an option for me. I don’t think I ever really recovered fully because I still don’t know why she did that.

“That experience made me despise the female gender for a while. I couldn’t fully trust in subsequent relationships. This went on until I met my wife. She helped me heal. She knew I had these insecurities and she would make sure her phones didn’t have passwords. She never cleared her chats. She was very open with me. She still is. She helped me know that not every female is like my ex. So, my wife basically helped me heal by proving to be the direct opposite of my ex,” he said.

Thirty-five-year-old Folarin Adeoti, an Enugu-based businessman, said he has had much heartbreaks that he just moves on from them. He said, “I don’t think heartbreak is a new thing. I have suffered from that many times that I almost expect people to disappoint me. The first heartbreak I suffered was when my mother died. I don’t think I will ever recover from that. People would tell me I am a man and that I should forget it. But how does one ever get over the death of their mother? It is not easy. I am grown now. I have a wife and three children but I still cry when I remember my sweet mother. One never really recovers from heartbreak. The pain will reduce over time but you never really get over it especially when the person is dead.”

Amina Sanusi, 25-year-old entrepreneur, said she gets over heartbreaks by occupying herself with something productive. “Heartbreaks can be very hurtful. You literally feel like your heart is being removed. This is so much worse when you love the person very much. I have learnt to get over things like that by getting busy. This way I don’t think of what has happened. Since there is nothing or very little that I can do about it. I just try to move on with my life so I don’t think about it. This has really helped. Once I forget about that person, I will never go back to the person who caused me such pain. That’s the downside to me moving on,” she said.

Georgina Lawson, 32-year-old Abuja resident, said she cuts all ties with the person in question. She said, “I remember back when I was single, whenever I had heartbreaks like that, I would delete the person’s number, pictures and everything connected to that person. That helped me put them out of my mind and sight. It really works. That way, I am not tempted to call them or do anything stupid. Before you know it, you have moved on. That was how I got over heartbreaks.”