Constituted authority and the Lagos Okada ban

I have no pity for Lagos people. They are too fat from eating junk food. They need exercise, but you can’t convince them to go to the gym. They’ll call Okada to take them from their rat-infested bedrooms to the sitting room if it were possible. If there was a place where people spoon-feed adults, Lagosians would patronise it. They think that Eko Ile is too stressful that every time they get a chance to relax, they take it.

So, their governor, afraid of the possibility of an obesity epidemic has found a very useful solution – ban Okada and Keke Napep. In these days of the coronavirus, we can’t afford to infect the globe with obesity and its attendant consequences.

When Sanwo-olu decided to ban commercial motorcycles – Okada, he was exercising his constituted authority. All his ancestors in Alausa did the same according to a graph produced by The Cable. Sanwo-Olu has added his name to that of Tinubu, Fashola and Ambode.

Sanwo-e cannot sit down and watch jobless youths beat him to popularity. One young GoKada rider claims she made N20k per day. The minimum wage is N30k per month. Sanwo-e is on the fringes of Amotekun country but Malos are rushing into the business from the farthest parts. Without a home or address, they contribute to the notoriety of Lagos as the open defecation capital of Nigeria. This is unsustainable. Before you know it, some may convert and exacerbate the religious war between Muric and CAN.

The Sanwo-e that shook the hands of entrepreneurial youths at the launch of GoKada is not the same one that banned the business. Nigerian inventors are guaranteed three things – frustration from those who have no job-creating ideas, double taxation and final annihilation of their business ideas. Only the Chinese and the owners of Nigeria with shares in this business are exempted.

It was shocking that the app-based businesses lasted this long. Don’t buy the bullcrap about security. The Lagos Okada ban has to do with security as much as AEPB’s harassment of single ladies and clubhouses in Abuja. It is a class thing. When you don’t belong to the 10 percent that ruins the place, let your idea perish with you or take it to another non-hostile environment.

Sanwo-olu’s wicked approach to the Okada and Keke Marwa/Napep is like our struggle with the brain waves of people running Road Safety. They force us to buy reflexive stickers, and to change our license plates several times. They even told us that some of the plates they issued were fakes. It has not changed Nigeria being the accident capital of the globe. The only reason we live in Nigeria is because suicide is a criminal offence. Only a government in Nigeria would sentence its citizens into trekking incredible distances before it has thought of a viable alternative. But just wait till the next election and see how they reward their enemies.

Meanwhile, in Oyo State, Seyi Makinde is constantly showing that he is neither a Nigerian nor a politician. He just warned that he would do something about street trading with a caveat that being a former street bread hawker himself, he would not wrestle the loaf from the children’s mouth without first asking. Makinde would be hosting a town hall for input.

A while back, Makinde went to talk to the owners of structures he wanted to demolish instead of using his constituted authority to do it. That is not an executive governor – that’s a negotiator. The man is falling my hand – who negotiation epp?

Trumpers of Nigeria, United

I once requested Barack Obama to run Nigeria on loan for six months and he rejected the offer. Now, Nigerians have switched their allegiance to Donald J Trump.

When people say that if Trump ran for elections in Nigeria, he would win you do not know what to make of it. Is it a compliment, misinformation, a lack of understanding of global political alignments, or is Nigeria high on something more potent than dried weed?

Looking at the social media feeds of some Nigerians, you’ll think that they belong to the Republican Party. I call it the lure of the almighty American visa – everybody wants one.

Trump has just added our country to the list of nations whose citizens are banned from seeking residency in the US. Of course, that is not Trump’s fault. The Americans reportedly gave the Buhari regime six months to meet specific criteria. Apparently, Buhari was ‘not aware’ of the ultimatum. If he was, Africa’s powerhouse did not think it should be bullied by the world’s superpower. The gavel has dropped and the international pride Buhari spoke about has led to Nigeria standing with reputable failed states.

But when it comes to the politics of Trump’s impeachment, a set of Nigerians believe Trump that the impeachment trial was a hoax and a witch-hunt. They think that Speaker Nancy Pelosi is the devil. The social media drivel supporting this narration is incredible.

Fed on the diet of pseudo-democracy garnished on the stew of toxic masculinity such that relegates women to the kitchen and the oza room, these Trumpers called Madam Pelosi names that’s not fit to print.

We can’t be all right knowing American politics or caring about another nation’s president more than we care about our own. That’s divided loyalty and Sai Baba should do something about it.