Would you quit your job to save your marriage?

There may come a time in life when one has to choose between a job and one’s marriage. This could be as a result of distance or the nature of the job. But what would you do if you are faced with that decision? LifeXtra takes a look.

When one is seriously unhappy, especially in marriage, the tendency is to either change nothing or change everything. For most people who have given up their careers in order to find happiness in marriage, their success stories have always been that it was the individual’s decision to give up the gig, rather than the partner demanding it.

LifeXtra spoke to some people who had so much to say.

“I will sacrifice my job to save my marriage because my family is important. This is because many of us are career couples, especially mothers.  We leave our children at the mercy of outsiders to watch which is dangerous to their future because we all have our different standards,” said Mercy Edeh, a mother of two.

Lami Jonathan, an Abuja-based working mother of two, was indifferent. Speaking to LifeXtra, she said “It is a fact that both career and marriage play important roles in our lives in all possible ways. Therefore, there is a need to create balance between the two in order to make the most of our lives. And that is what I would do – create balance between both of them.”

“So rather than choosing between the two on the basis of importance, one should carry both their career and marriage with dignity,” she added.

Concurring with Jonathan, Jos-based Efe Joy, who is self-employed, is of the opinion that both are necessary and important in their own ways, and cannot be compared.

Speaking further, she added “A good career will keep you financially independent and allow you to carry out your responsibilities while a good marriage will keep you happy, and you and your partner can grow together, so comparing them is really unnecessary.”

Steven Patience, who works and also runs a business, believes that having a career or even a business can remove the burden of depending on someone whether as a single or married person because a good career would give you the good life or things you need.”

“So, money wise, a career is important. Then for emotions and perhaps, happiness, both are necessary. It just depends on what you want. Asking to give one up for the other is not really easy,” she stated.

Concluding, she said “So for me, I won’t give up one for the other. What I would try to do is to make sure I balance both so that I can spend quality time with my family, have more time for my business and also my job.”

A marriage counselor, Ugonma Echesi, says before you quit your career; ask yourself whose idea it is for you to leave your job. “If it’s your choice, then that wouldn’t be a problem for you,” she explained. “But if it’s not your choice – you will feel pushed into it – then the resentment you feel is going to supersede any positive steps you make toward repairing your relationship. Everyone should have this at the back of their minds.”

“You should also have a financial plan in place: Is your partner earning enough to provide for the family if you quit?”