Why single mothers need to be respected more

While waiting for my appointment in an office, two women conversed to the hearing of all about how a woman took the decision to opt out of her marriage and her husband asked her to also take the children along with her.

Separations and divorce are on the increase in the society and not many see it as a negative trend but what amazed me was what the women said afterwards. “Does she think she will be able to raise those children on her own? She is just going to destroy the lives of those children and they will amount to nothing in life. Children of single mothers never turn out well at the end of the day.”

At that point, I had to chip in by asking them if they were mothers themselves. When they said no, I told them that until they become one, they had no right to judge and predict the outcome of people’s situations.

It is common today to hear people say that children raised by women alone never amount to anything, and I keep asking who came up with such conclusions.

Womanhood took a sample of people’s opinion on this sensitive issue.

Rasheedat Quadry, 39-year-old accountant, says, “It’s sad that that is what our society has been reduced to when it comes to single parenting. The reality is that this statement was made by very ignorant and illiterate people. If we take a look around us, you will see single mothers who are raising champions and making their family proud. Secondly, why is this claim reserved just for single mothers, when we also have single fathers? Why aren’t the fathers accused of not being able to raise the children well?”

Amina Jubril, 42-year-old architect, says, “I believe people say that to spite single mothers and not because there is an atom of truth in that. If what they say holds water, then widows wouldn’t be raising responsible children either. Mothers are supreme and will do anything to make sure their children get the best care and eventually turn out to be responsible adults to be reckoned with in the society. No mother wants to see her children fail. The least the society can do is to help ease the stress of single mothers and not burden her with such ill talks. Have they seen or heard of orphans that have made big impact in life? The mindset of some people is so shallow that they think a woman can’t do anything for herself or her kids without the help of a man. Yes, a stable home is required to bring up successful children but a stable happy home can be found both in a single and married parented homes. Why on earth do they think that children raised by only women are never useful to the society? Times are changing and the earlier some people change their perspective, the better.”

A 43-year-old mother of three who sought anonymity, advices, “People should realize that it was not chance or luck if any woman raises a child on her own. It took years of hard work, tears and sacrifices and yes, the grace of God. It is an astounding achievement and she deserves our respect. I am saying this because I was once in that situation and it was the most trying and dark phase of my life. I was told by my in-laws that my son will become useless and my daughters will end up becoming single mothers like myself without finishing their education. It was a tormenting experience, and right then I took a vow and refused to allow my children to be labeled. Today, my in-laws have swallowed their words and are the ones begging for forgiveness.”

The bottom line is that a parent is a parent whether married or single. No one prays to be a single mother but if circumstance warrants it, respect them for that always, no matter what.