When siblings turn enemies

Last week, I was having a conversation with a friend and then I asked about her older siblings, her response was shocking. “I’m not on talking terms with them. We only share parents and not our lives; everyone has his/her own destiny. I am more comfortable with outsiders than those I call siblings.” I tried to ask what the problem was but she just didn’t want to talk about them. In her words, “I am done with them; we all can meet when we want to bury our parents.”

When I discussed this with my sister, she went on to tell me about her friend who was the last child in her family and upon her parents’ death, none of her four siblings sought to know how she was faring but instead preferred her to come and work as a maid for them without sending her to school. Now, as an adult, she doesn’t want anything to do with them. I was shocked and thought to myself, how and why would siblings turn against one another?

Ibironke Bello, 40-year-old computer engineer, says, “Selfish good-for-nothing sisters are everywhere. Most siblings these days do not feel happy when one of their siblings is doing better than they are. I tell people who find themselves in such situation that everyone’s destiny is in their hands. Yes, we do need siblings for family support but when such siblings decide not to have anything to do with you, especially in the situation where both parents are no more, what can you do? You can’t impose themselves on them, because it would not end well, trust me. So, the best thing is to start living life on your own terms; that way you wouldn’t need to rely on anyone for your success.”

Emmanuel Charles, 41-year-old data analyst, narrates “I had a friend whose parents died when she was young and her older siblings left her in the care of relatives in the village. Till date, they have never asked how or who helped her to where she is today. There are some siblings who aren’t worthy to be called sisters or brothers. If anyone ever finds himself/herself in such situation, just have it at the back of your mind that you’re alone and be determined to be successful in whatever you’re doing. Also, don’t forget to always put God first in all you do because in such situations a spiritual war is inevitable. With these simple basic steps, you are sure to overcome all challenges associated with wicked siblings.”

Valerie Okeke, 39-year-old civil servant, says “I have always wondered why people prefer to confide in their best friends than in their siblings. Many things happen under the sun that only those that such incidences happened to can explain. Having a good family and wonderful siblings are the best things that can happen in anyone’s life but on another note, family can sometimes be poison. We sometimes tolerate and overlook a lot of things siblings do to us simply because they are family but gone are those days when our lives depended on what our siblings say or their reactions to issues surrounding our lives. When you and your siblings turn enemies, your destiny is now in your hands. Take care of yourself and make sure you end well.”