When mistakes happen with exes

Mistakes are bound to happen and some mistakes can be very fatal. No one prays to make a mistake that will become a disgrace or cost the family its integrity. We will not be dwelling on the alleged killing of a husband by his wife in Abuja as it will be a discussion for another week.  This week we will be discussing how a lady became pregnant for her ex. 

Bola (Not real name) explains how a costly mistake is keeping her depressed. “I was in an abusive relationship which resulted in a divorce. He never regarded me or my parents to be anything. We have two kids. Though he has remarried, I remain single to cater for our children who he hardly supports. He comes from time to time to check up on the children and in that process the unexpected happened and now I am pregnant for him. I am confused and depressed at the same time. I can’t face my parents as my ex still disrespects them and my only option would be to abort the pregnancy but I am scared as my religion also forbids abortion. What do I do?”

Josephine Okoye, 41-year-old civil servant, says, “I agree with her that abortion is not allowed in Christianity but so is adultery. What was she thinking having an intimate relationship with her ex who disrespects her parents, doesn’t take responsibility for the children and funny enough one who has moved on with his life? Why do women like to play the weaker sex? The bottom line now is that she has to take responsibility for her actions.” 

Ronke Azeez, 39-year-old lawyer, says, “It’s quite unfortunate and a dicey situation. She has indeed brought shame on the family if she keeps the pregnancy and if she aborts it, it’s a bigger sin in the sight of God. The damage has been done and the best thing for her to do now is to call her ex and let him know. The problem is that he has remarried and may decide to deny responsibility of the pregnancy, making her a disgrace to her family. I will not advice abortion as there is a reason God made her pregnant. She should stop all the worries and brace up for the tough times ahead and this will not be easy but she needs to be strong to pull through.”

Aisha Abdulhakeem, 40-year-old engineer, says, “I would suggest she first seeks forgiveness from God before anything and then her parents. The deed has been done; she should not worsen it by thinking about having an abortion. Every problem has a solution, it may take time but she will overcome it. Her ex only saw her as an easy prey and it would be difficult to get him to take responsibility for the pregnancy especially now that he has remarried. She should move on with her life, which is sure going to be a difficult trial but with God’s guidance she will overcome.”

Amina Ahmed, 42-year-old nurse, says, “We are all humans and we all make mistakes. As humans, we do not have the right to judge others as many of us live secret lives of sins. The mistake has been made and it wouldn’t be fair for you to take an innocent life created by God. I will advise she speaks to her parents and her ex. If her ex is willing to take her back, good and fine but she should know that she will become the second wife in a home where she was once a first. The trouble in that situation is that she will not have it easy with her co-wife as this singular mistake will be used to taunt her every day by everyone including her husband or even parents.”