What’s wrong with a man doing house chores?

It has always been touted that house chores and taking care of the children is strictly the responsibility of the woman. Many will argue that house chores and taking care of children are both responsibilities of the couple, especially when they both work. 

Chinedu (not real name) asks if it’s wrong for him to help his wife out with house chores and taking care of their 5-year-old child. He said that his extended family members aren’t comfortable with his helping his wife with some basic house chores after his siblings told them about it in the village. 

His question, “Where have I gone wrong in trying to help my wife in our home and the upbringing of our child?”

Jamila Jubril, 39-year-old teacher, says, “Unfortunately, we live in a society that delegates home and child rearing responsibilities to women alone. A solid home has both husband and wife carrying out household and parental responsibilities interchangeably. The society in which we find ourselves has always given a different narrative and stereotyped roles of genders in a relationship or marriage. In the African setting, families will conclude that the wife must have had her husband under a spell to do such things. But when we go to the western world, these are normal things and they live peacefully, so why can’t it be replicated here in Africa. The earlier we change this negative narrative, the better for us. This way many marriages will be saved and couples will learn to respect each other.”

Salamatu Zakari, 40-year-old accountant, says, “This simply boils down to mothers training their children irrespective of gender to do all chores. As mothers, we should learn to train our male and female children equally. If the mother of the man in question had trained them that way, his sisters will understand that there are no designated jobs for a particular gender. If we all train our children to understand that chores are for everybody irrespective of gender, the world will be a better place.”

Edith Adewale, 39-year-old nurse, says, “If he is okay with helping his wife, then I suggest he takes a bold step to tell and possibly explain to his family that he is comfortable and happy doing whatever he does for his immediate family. He is old enough to decide how he wants to live his life with his family. I will suggest her respectfully tells them not to interfere with his home when it comes to how he wants to assist. And this is just purely a Nigerian mentally, that the husband does nothing even when his wife is obviously struggling with chores and children. Any man who does that really doesn’t appreciate or respect his wife.”