AL-BINT’S DIARY

Re: Of romance
and finance

Your insightful edition of Al-Bint’s Diary with the above title really portrays the dilemma faced by many Muslim youths, out there, who genuinely want to get married as soon as they graduate from higher institutions, and live ‘within bounds’ according to the teachings of Islam.
As blissful as marriage is, getting married nowadays is increasingly becoming difficult as we are caught in the problematic web of economic hardships/unemployment, biological instincts (lust) and sincere desire to remain pious without engaging in unlawful acts.
Contrastingly, the attention given to wedding ceremonies and other needless events, in terms of financial inputs and material cost, is overwhelming and difficult to meet by many Muslim youths who are just beginning their careers.
Unfortunately, the out-rightly outrageous ‘finance’ required for wedding and other occasions after the wedding, coupled with everyday demands by many in-laws and inconsiderate wives place many husbands and would-be husbands at crossroads.
These indices of finance, romance, economic hardships, lust and outright toiling in order to always meet certain demands and obligations by husbands and husbands-to-be have led to unwanted situations in the land; fornication, rape, baby-factories and pre-marital co-habitation amongst other immoral acts.
From Moshood Ahmed at Surveyors Council of Nigeria, Yawuri Street, Garki II Abuja.

Re: Desperate co-wives

Assalamu alaikum Hajiya Bint may Allah SWA reward you abundantly, I always read your column.  What this woman did is nothing compared to what others are doing just for the sake of keeping/dominating their husbands. In her case she only buried something in the grave but there are those who kill for the same purposes.
Hajiya what amazes me is that these women who are acting this way already know that the man is married before deciding to choose him. So if they accept that because they know that what he is doing is halal, then why don’t they accept the first wife? But if they knew they couldn’t handle being with her then why go into the marriage from the beginning? Why couldn’t they wait for a single man to come along and not try to destroy a happy family?
[email protected]
 
Re: Some suggested topics

I happen to be one among the regular readers of AL-BINT’S DIARY every Saturday. I find it very interesting and educative as well as morally inspiring.
May Almighty Allah increase your knowledge and reward you abundantly for that. Please I will like to make a suggestion to you that you should try to write something story about Drug addiction and   abuse which is now very rampant in the North, especially Kano and Kaduna. In these towns drug addiction is mainly practiced by the youth and some married women. Also, do something about the baby factories in the South and the effects of child trafficking with the attendant evil of evils of impregnating young women ladies, I order to get money by selling the babies after their delivery.
Hassan Imran, [email protected]

RE: Commendation

Hello,
I’m a student of journalism, and I always find it easy to write my article by looking up your write ups.  I’m glad to have you in my generation even though most of your write ups are feminine but still they catch my attention and educate me more . Keep doing good things for the society.
 Regards
Sulaiman Ahmed wrote from Dubai UAE ([email protected])
 
Kudos Al-Bint

Salaam, I have been following your diary for many years and I salute you and I also hope you will compile your column into a book some day. Thanks,
Halima Abubakar Kigo  [email protected]
Note:  The diary compilation is already in progress, thanks for your kind words.
Al-Bint
 
RE: An advice

Salam, I have been a follower of your Daily Trust weekly column, Al-Bint’s Diary. Most of the time when I miss it, I find it difficult to find the piece online. For this reason I am humbly advising you to please open a social media platform like facebook page or twitter handle where the readers can access the article easily and at convenience time. Thank you.
Musa Sani Khalil [email protected]
 
Re: Why isn’t she the wife? I and II

As-Salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh!
Barakallahu fiiki wa barik alaiki, amin.
The least we can do is to continue to make du’a for you for the great wisdom Allah has bestowed on you and which you are expending for our common well being.
Well, I pray the poor woman in the unfortunate incident titled above is able to resolve this matter as you have rightly advised her.
However, my advice to wives are:
1. Be vigilant to see tell tale signs that your husbands are drifting into illicit relationships. Calling it extra-marital affairs is to hide the hideous crime it is. Try – and persist in trying – to have quality time with your husbands. Do not leave them to themselves in the name of wanting to be with your friends or they wanting to be with their friends. Yes, as men, we’ll be with our friends from time to time, same for women too, but in many instances, things just go off the limit and something else is happening or will begin to happen. Balance and moderation are the key words here.
2. Do not put up the attitude of resistance to the idea of polygyny. If you notice a tendency in him to want to take a second wife, please give him the chance and be reasonable about it. There is a REAL possibility that a man could drift into ZINA relationship due to fear of the reaction from his wife should he attempt to “bring in another woman to ruin the life of the first wife.”
3. Pray some nawafil together. Tell him you really want to do Shaf’i and Witri with him.
4. As a Muslim family, insist on having a family session of Islamic lessons / discussions and du’a even if only on weekends and for just 15 minutes. Just try this and with du’a, you’ll appreciate what Allah would do for you.
5. Attend Islamic programmes together. At least you do attend some other social functions together. Add Islamic programmes to the functions you attend together and after such programmes, review the issues that have bearing on your lives.
6. Recognise his choice even in small matters. In your “This Silent Evil,” Tahir had said, in reaction to your rush to go to your neighbour “… One of these days we are going to have our own emergency Bint. And it will be caused by nothing other than the way you take me for granted. … Did you even remember that I exist …” I bet this is how all men feel when you ignore their choices and feelings. When this happens and Shaytan succeeds, the man falls into the trap of the woman outside, who, in our present realities, are in multitudes!
The final word is, while not justifying the evil of Zina by anybody, wives should give priority to preserving the health of their marriage.
Muhammad Isa  [email protected]

Re: Why isn’t she the wife? I and II

Assalamu’alaikum, I liked how your last week’s edition of the story ended – the dilemma she has to deal with and we the readers to conclude it by ourselves. Thanks for keeping us occupied every weekend. Allah ya saka da alkhairi. I really missed your diary whenever the week ends without a new version of it. A huta lafiya.
Ahmad Musa Karaye [email protected]
 
Re: Why isn’t she the wife? I and II

Assalam Alaikum, how are you doing? And how is the family?
Concerning your latest diary, I remember following that of last week and two weeks ago so I could see how things ended with “Barira and her husband”.  After reading today’s article I was a bit confused thinking so does it mean “Barira’s” dream kept me in suspense for 2 weeks?
Dr Fatimah Mohammed ([email protected])
 
Re: Her third mountain of gold

Mrs. Diezani Allison-Madueke like many plundering handlers of our commonwealth is indeed one woman who is greatly endowed financially considering her background yet her appetite for avarice is unparalleled.
As painstaking as the effects of her loots are to our economy, we must not forget the contexts and contradictions within which she operated as the Petroleum Minister; she thrived under a directionless and inimical administration that was notable for thriving business of falsehood; re-defining corruption as mere ‘stealing’ and under whose watch millions of naira were allegedly looted or simply unremitted into the Federation Account by Government Agencies.
While EFCC has suddenly become vibrant again in the discharge of its duties, the trial and prosecution of corrupt leaders leave so much to be desired as certain aspects of our criminal justice system have to be reviewed to allow speedy trial and prosecution of corrupt leaders in the country.
Sadly, our value system is fast becoming wrecked as many Nigerians now shamelessly and publicly celebrate looters and plunderers of our treasury and even protest against their arrest or accompany them to EFCC while those who serve this country diligently and selflessly are jeered at or simply forgotten or unrecognized.
With the excruciating nature of our economy where unemployment rate is high and many are dying of minor ailments simply because they can’t afford the medical bills in private hospitals. It is unfortunate that corrupt handlers of our treasury loot it and get away without stringent sanctions because of loopholes in our criminal justice system and the judiciary as a whole.
From Moshood Ahmed at Surveyors Council of Nigeria, Yawuri Street, Garki II Abuja.