Building your child’s self-esteem

A child with a healthy self-esteem can be likened to a grooming ground against challenges of the world. According to Dr. Sears, author of ‘12 Ways to Raise a Confident Child,’ “Self-esteem is your child’s passport to a lifetime of mental health and social happiness. It’s the foundation of a child’s well-being and the key to success as an adult.” Now the question is, how would you build your child’s self- esteem? The following is what some people think of self-esteem.
Patricia Ufuoma, a businesswoman in her early 50s believes that a child’s self-esteem is very vital. “When my last child was much younger, I noticed she had a low esteem and always felt intimidated by some of her classmates,” she said and recalled a time when her daughter’s school teacher called to complain that she couldn’t read.
“I was surprised because I know when she was at home with me, she read well. I was furious with her but then again I chose to ask her calmly. She confided in me and told me that, any time she tried to read in front of the class and came across a new word and couldn’t pronounce it her teacher would shout at her. From what she told me I understood she was gradually feeling intimidated and having low-esteem. I had to tell her that even when the teacher shouts at her, it doesn’t mean she can’t read. I told her she was a star; spoke positively to her and that made a difference,” the mother of five stated.
Edith Uju, a 35-year-old civil servant said: “Sincerely building your child’s self-esteem is very tasking but very important. Children express low self-esteem in different ways – they become bullies, lose their confidence or eventually resort to withdrawal syndrome.”
The mother of three added that: “I try not to speak negatively in the life of my children. I am training them to be strong, because to thrive in a world like ours you need to be strong. I am also training them to know they can’t always get what they want but to always remain steadfast and zealous.”
Mrs. Mercy Ekpe, a civil servant in her early 40s, said one of the best ways children can be helped to overcome low self-esteem is by reassuring them of your love. “When my kids were much younger, my daughter was always fidgety around those of her age group. She couldn’t stand up to them whenever they had misunderstandings or bullied her. She would always cry home from school and tell me everything that happened. Initially, I would scold her and tell her that if she couldn’t face them she shouldn’t disturb me.”
Mrs. Ekpe however realized her mistake later as her daughter would no longer tell her that happened at school. “I had to make efforts to draw her to me so that she could tell me all that happened. I called her one day when she was in one of her bad moods and I had to reassure her of my love, and let her know that I was always there for her when she needed me. Gradually, she started becoming more open again and I helped her to come of that feeling,” narrated the mother of three.
“Parents need to let their children know that they are loved and cared for. They should be helped to build a form of confidence in themselves,” she advised.
Chukwu Nwabueze, a psychology graduate, thinks if one’s self-esteem is tampered with from childhood, it would reflect in his or her life as an adult.
“A child losing self-esteem can lead to depression, insecurity and low confidence. All of which can affect the child’s output to anything in future. When you as a parent notice that your child rarely interacts with others, most times refrained like wanting to hide in a shell, then you need to push the child, help him or her realise his or her strength and work on it. Make the child confident. For example if your child likes to sing, you can build on that. That can build up the child’s self-esteem,” he remarked.
According to an online publication kidshealth.org kids who know their strengths and weaknesses tend to feel good about themselves and seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic.