Politics, pr and stomach adjustment programmes

In so doing, government publicises its lack of confidence in its hirelings. It is possible that the fedora and Gucci no longer command needed admiration, because recently they even dressed the president in a zany suit – except that not many took notice.
But give it to the ruining party, they know how to read the thermometer of human wants and to temporarily pander to them as election nears. Those who think that the umbrella as a symbol would be replaced by Thai rice have got it all wrong. Ekiti is now a bird in hand, and the southwest recapture train is running on the track of changed tactics.
By now, the opposition ought to know that embracing every questionable character kicked to the kerb by the ruining party is not an asset but an avoidable liability. The broom party apparently did not get the memo that even Hoover; the pioneer of vacuum cleaners is reinventing.
The next electoral battleground is Rauf Aregbesola’s State of Osun. The incumbent’s populist antics sometimes range between the ridiculous and the sublime. His contender Iyiola Omisore is a veteran of the game. After all he once turned a federal justice minister cap into a floating kite before setting a national (if not global) record as the first man to win a senatorial seat from the relative comfort of the prison. Not even the Colombians could have beaten him to that. Calm as still waters with the federal might behind him, Omisore imagines himself as the next occupant of government house, Osogbo.
For now the two elephants have been roughening the waters of popularity. If crowds win elections, Omisore should be advised to return to his day job as Aregbesola has the headcount in his favour. But Omi is subtly campaigning using the party’s stomach adjustment programme, SAP and populism. Although he usually travels in open-roofed jeep, he lately scaled down to riding a commercial motorcycle popularly known as okada with the masses.
But it is his romance with locally produced snacks that is the subject of popular attention. In one such picture, he is seen dissecting guguru known in rebranded circles as popcorn. For me the iconic image is the one in which he is playing Luis Suarez with roasted corn – one in each hand. In none of these pictures is he actually eating, just happy to pose.
On social media, it has generated memes. But the one that stands out for me was an amaizing one in which the writer says: “So, the CORNman has CORNcluded arrangements to either CORNfuse issues or CORNfirm roforofo politricks in the bid to CORNer the CORNmonwealth of Osun State. When we CORNpared the belle infracturcture event of Ekiti with the CORNdition of Osun, we can CORNfidently say that CORNpetence and CORNviviality are not CORNpulsory in the CORNtry. As the PDP finalises plans to CORNfigure the electoral seats, we can only pray that the CORNdensed people Osun are not CORNdemned to CORNcentration camps in the future. Shey na only me waka come? Ok, CORNtinue.”
Ingenious isn’t it? The corn may be a deciding factor in Osun. All these go to show that public relations is a two-edged sword – a force for good or bad. When the presidential team hired the American firm to whitewash its image, little did it realise how condensed the world is today. The Washington Post turned round to critique the lacklustre performance of President Jones in tackling national security and enhancing national cohesion. Who would believe that water would cook fish!
Beyond his lionisation on NTA and AIT advertisements, not much is heard of Abia’s Theodore Orji. A few weeks back, he rose into national opprobrium when the army announced the arrest of several northerners tagged Boko Haram suspects in his domain. To debunk rumours of ethnic profiling, the army quickly declared it had found one notorious Boko Haram kingpin among the lot thereby proving that all northerners are Boko Haram suspects until they have proven otherwise. Weeks later social media attention is on the parlous state of Abia roads and the lack of infrastructure. What started as attention grabbing has turned against Orji who is now under pressure to prove his worth especially to the besieged people of Aba. Maybe this is what they meant when they said that those who live in glasshouses should not throw stones.