Jones 3:16

The French never left Africa, they cloned themselves and left business in the capable hands of Francophiles who understand the true meaning of loyalty to take good care of business. They were not in a hurry to turn things around. But above all, they take Catholic marriage beyond the sacramental ‘till death do us part’; of late loyalty is extended from progenitor to offspring.
Okay, Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga did overtime on the throne and disqualified his son from inheriting anything outside the estimated $5 billion results of his 32-year hard work.  Laurent Desire Kabila who inherited the throne was cut down early, and the Congolese felt so bad they invested the office in his son Joseph. For 38 years, Gnassingbé Eyadéma ruled Togo with an iron fist but was modest enough not to change its name to Eyadéma. For that prudence, his loyalists felt they owed him one and decided to reward his son with the dynasty.
Félix Houphouët-Boigny found peace during his reign because he captured peace, bottled it and died with the key in his pocket. His successors found power but have hardly known peace. In the case of Blaise Compaoré, the butcher of Ouagadougou, things have been so cool for 27 years until the agitation of certain ingrates forced a constitutional amendment, setting a power time limit. Realising that computers did not relegate the role of the eraser and that written words can be amended or deleted if you have loyal people, Compaoré did not expect what hit his nation throughout last week. Even Mother France could not have seen it coming. Only days earlier he was telling the world that what he was doing (amending the constitution to stay on as life president instead of installing Francois his brother) is legit.
Unlike Uncle Bob of Zim, Compaoré’s sense of modesty which helped him install his brother as economic adviser prevented pushing his wife Chantal into the succession plan. The Burkinabé love their ruler but it looks like they are set to delete him before he finds empty the trashcan button. If they had told France that they wanted change, it would have arranged a peaceful retirement to his hometown Zinairé or any of the Antoinette chateau usually acquired by Francophiles for such moments of ingratitude.
Until the Arab Spring, only the Arabs rival Francophiles when it comes to true understanding of docile loyalty. Gadaffi made speeches, including a famous one at the UN, but who will forget the everlasting clip in which he said in smattering English – my bibul lob me!? He was right, Arabs know the true meaning of loyalty until ISIL found the original text of the Holy Scriptures and crowned a new Caliph. Now even Saudi monarchs are not sitting pretty.
Naija people are giving the Francophiles and the Arabs a run for their loyalty. With elections round the bend, they are putting their money where their mouth is and making the difference between stomach infrastructure-induced loyalty popular politics. The journey to candidacy starts with picking forms but if you are popular they do it for you. When talakawa leader, GMB needed to pick a form, he approached the bank for election mortgage and came out with N27 million, prompting talks that he would be looking for ways and means if he wins. But lovers of President Jones put together their widow’s mite and raised N98.2 million. They beat the world record for loyalty. No party has ever printed one presidential form nor has any candidate been invited to run without spending his own cash. My president’s lovers broke both rules with cash from their pockets. They may have denied that any girl is missing from Chibok and not given a damn about the displaced from Borno through Mubi, but they did not deny their candidate. They proved that prayer made in Jerusalem works.
The ruling party has returned with its Bible. I have been leafing through an advanced copy and found that Jones 3:16 says – The people so love Jonah that they paid for him to pick the only form; that whosoever competes with him, has no merit but entered the book of treacherous men. Check out the book of David Mark 11:35 and it says ‘…and David wept after his constituents picked the form and came on their knees asking him to run’. This way Naija might even teach Francophiles how to appreciate their ruiners?