Somebody Please Warn Uhuru Kenyatta!

Thus far, Obama is a tolerable nuisance. What is intolerable, especially if you are a citizen of the giant of Africa, is having two Kenyans doing the same thing. During the week, Uhuru Kenyatta, the man who calls the shot in Kenya fired up again.
Again because it would not be the first time; in one swoop of the presidential axe, Kenyatta fired his police chief and the interior minister as if the Kenya ruling manual is daily delivered by Washington DC. They were neither fired for stealing or corruption but for vicarious liability in two recent hit and run attacks on Kenyan towns by marauding al-Shabaab militants, the senior cousins of Naija’s Boko haram.
The attacks horrendously targeted Christians in a manner Kenyatta alleged could have set fire on Kenya’s combustible religious fabric. Two attacks within two weeks were too much for a president who feels accountable to the electorate. His interpretation was that those in charge of security were caught napping twice. He sent them home before the Kenyan equivalent of Ayo Orishajefo could burn the entire city with incendiary statements. Kenyans did not fault the sack; they expected it after the first attack.
In his speech, Kenyatta divided his country into two – those on the side of free democratic Kenya with respect for rule of law and those on the side of the murderous terrorists. That was not al-Shabaab’s aim and after Kenyatta’s moving speech at the Westgate Mall attack, I was forced to pay more attention to Kenya’s recent history. Kenyatta forgot to blame the Orange Democratic Movement of his archrival, Raila Odinga. He did not blame the Kalenjin, Luo or the Meru for the distraction.
This Kenyatta action should not be reported on NTA because it is capable of inciting Naija people into acts tantamount to sedition. Sacking people because of little infractions is unknown to the country of 180 million people because finding replacements could be more difficult than finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. In March, a bungled recruitment exercise into the Naija Immigration Service led to a stampede in which 20 people died. Before you could shout Abba Moron the minister in charge blamed the dead for blackmailing government by seeking the jobs they did not need; he has kept his portfolio and recently commissioned a toilet. That is the Naija medication for treating dereliction of duty.
If President Jones were to act as childishly as Uhuru Kenyatta, he would have been changing his interior minister, his police and service chiefs every 24 hours. It’s hard to know what Kenyan lives are worth, but Naija lives are surely worth less. Every time al-Shabaab carries out its murderous attack, Kenyatta’s army strikes them with vengeful anger and furious vengeance. Whatever happened to negotiating a ceasefire? Kenyatta vows he will not stop striking at the terrorists? After the first attack the Kenyan army traced al-Shabaab to their lair in Somalia and slaughtered a hundred of them – nearly three for each Kenyan life. After every attack Kenyatta goes on television to address and rally his people. Excuse me Mr. Kenyatta, whom are you trying to impress?
It looks like Kenyatta is taking the shine off his spokespersons. Naija can offer him the Jonah PR crisis management manual for free. It uses a pre-signed press release template that leaves out blank date and venue. The body promises to punish perpetrators. It is suitable for all attacks and is a veritable replacement for speeches. It is loved by the media and is 21st Century compliant. It is potent for winning re-elections. I should think that Kenyatta’s party is not a ruining party. It perhaps wastes time campaigning for votes based on performance and on bigotry and nepotism. In Naija, that westernized notion of party democracy could corrupt Naija people into thinking that power belongs to them and not their selected ruiners.
I wonder what Mr. Kenyatta would have done, if the village of his army chief had been overrun by al-Shabaab – perhaps hang the officer upside down. After all said and done, Uhuru Kenyatta is a small boy in politics. Kenya is a neophyte in democracy. Next time, (and I pray there is no next time), BBC should not disturb our national lethargy by reporting what Kenyatta is doing. Instead, of making rallying speeches, Kenyatta should buy BBC airtime to showcase his achievements. Kenyatta loyalists should form a Kikuyu Christian Coalition and go to Israel to wish away terrorism. I hope Kenyans vote out this man because our continent does not need too many of him or President Jones may start looking like bad news. And we don’t want that now, do we?