If I put more pressure on it, then it becomes a mental thing. I treat it the same as a free throw in the first quarter by doing the same routine every single time. I focus on the rim. I take four dribbles, spin the ball, and get up under it. My routine puts me into a calm state. It’s just me and the rim.”
Ask Yourself Questions
Ask yourself a few essential questions. Are you attracted to him/her? Do you play well together? Is she unselfish? Does she treat people well and talk positively about past relationships? Does she recognize her family’s shortcomings and take corrective steps? Is she respectful of you? Does she share the soap in the shower? If you have a string of positive answers, you have a fun, responsible, thoughtful person at your side, says John Van Epp, Ph.D., a clinical counselor based in Medina, Ohio, and the author of How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk. That probably qualifies her as a keeper.
Call a Time Out
Call a time out. If you’re in the thick of battle, go wash your hands. Removing yourself provides the chance to think and not say the wrong thing. While you’re gone, let yourself be upset. “Anger and agitation tend to be short-lived when you let them play out internally,” says Melissa Blacker, a director of professional training at the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts medical school. When you’re calm, go to your boss and say, “What can I do to help work this out?” He’s probably braced for a fight, so he’s bound to welcome the collaborative tone. At the very least, you’ve expressed yourself. Letting your anger fester increases the chance you’ll overreact.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
For 2 days every week, schedule 10 minutes to grieve. Unless you plan, it’s too easy to dodge the sadness—especially in the first couple of months after the funeral. And taking control of the process prevents unresolved issues from lingering. Shoot for early evening, when anything kicked up won’t affect your sleep. Take a 5-minute walk to unwind, then pull out photos to bring the departed front and center. Now ask two questions: What have you lost? What’s the effect? You see what’s missing from your life, so you can shift to problem solving, says Michael McKee, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic. Now hit the gym. It’ll end the grieving session, and the endorphins will lift your mood. Overall, doing the two activities will model what you’re striving for—the knowledge that sad and happy can coexist.
Make a Grateful List
Add 10 more entries. Here’s how actor Craig Bierko, most recently of Boston Legal fame, keeps his lid from flipping. “First, I keep in mind that on-the-job stress is an indication that I’m doing well. I could certainly experience far less stress lying around all day watching Ellen reruns. Then I practice something called ‘the grateful flow.’ It’s far cheaper than Prozac. I list ten things for which I’m grateful. Remind yourself of the friend who’s always been there, the fact that you can afford your next meal. And include your job. Sure, it’s the reason you’re making the list in the first place. But where would you be without it?”
Focus on the Now
Focus on the now as well as the later. Martin Brodeur, star goalie for the New Jersey Devils, uses these techniques when he faces game 7 in the playoffs: “When it becomes stressful, I overbreathe. That opens up everything and makes me aware of the situation I’m in. I also make sure my feet are together as much as possible and that they’re really under me. With my feet together, I’m compact. It’s less tiring, and I’m lighter on my skates. As for when I’m not on the ice? Before game 7 of the 2003 Stanley Cup finals I booked a vacation online. It took me out of the anxiety of facing a game 7.” (The Devils won that game, 3-0.)
Source: healthydiet.io