Still on Mo Ibrahim awards

Has Mo Ibrahim’s wife ever suffered from food poisoning? If so, who treated her and in which hospital, a local one or a German amenity ward? Can his doctors diagnose executive food poisoning as quickly as Villa doctors? Can they afford to take executive patients to Dubai; then Germany and fly them back to rest in peace without going bankrupt? If Mo’s wife returned from such a trip, how many state governors, ministers and government hangers-on would show up at the airport with a cultural troupe to perform? How many newspaper adverts would she get shaming the enemies of state and their evil schemes? Would she be able to quote scriptures like a proper widow? Let him answer these questions conscientiously before I throw more.

They say that Mo Ibrahim was a businessman of Sudanese origin, who made his mark as a telecommunications guru before selling off his franchise. I suggest the African Union should investigate him, because it is evident that the man constitutes a clear and present danger to the survival of kleptocracy in our continent.

It is evident that Mo has probably never heard of the giant called Adenuga founder of a glowing empire from the scratch. Sitting in a mortgaged home in London perhaps, this Mo Ibrahim wants to give African leaders $5 million if they do well? Haha, I laughed so much I am falling off my bench. $5 million for any ‘true’ African ruler is like money you give to your girlfriend for a one-week summer vacation. It is like the gyara that comes as signing bonus for a small contract. It is like money you spend at Harrods or to gamble overnight at Sin City. How many owambe parties can that kind of money throw? Who does this man think he is enticing? This cash ‘prize’ is not even big enough to buy shares in the consortia that is hoping to finally nail the coffin on Naija’s power sector – $5 million. A messenger in Naija’s civil service has counted that money and put it under his pillow, not bothering his bank manager over it.

Mo Ibrahim insults Africa, but most especially Naija. Has he heard of Femi Otedola or Jimoh Ibrahim? What does he think $5 million is to Aliko Dangote, who single-handedly changed the entry qualification of a driver in his empire to first degree? I looked at Mo Ibrahim’s degree and his pedigree and I wonder what Dangote would have hired him for.

By which ruler did Naija not measure up to Mo Ibrahim’s performance index that it is now ranking among nations not worthy to stoop down and untie the shoestring of our formerly shoeless president? We are ruined by the minute for the past thirteen years by the largest party in Africa and the black world. The PDP is the author and finisher of our fate and according to plan, whether Boko Haram, kidnappers, armed robbers and Naija-Delta militants like it or not, it still has 47 more years to go. As they say here, no shaking!

If Mo Ibrahim wants to hear people talk about money, he should attend one session of the Federal Executhief Council and see how contracts are shared, maybe he would change his mind. At least, I speak for Naija, we are tops in all governance indexes, we don’t fund our own universities, we send our children to the best schools abroad. He should ask Ghana what we contribute to their national GDP yearly. Very soon we would annex the nation, because I know there are little Naijas being born every month there. When money talks, bullshit walks.

Here is a country where individuals are republics. In which other African nation does that happen, that a man builds his own house, the road to the house, the water he uses, the electricity he consumes, provides his own security and goes around without hope of ever returning home. We are creating something unheard of here men, something unknown to political science – he should ask Attahiru Jega the distance between political theory and Naija reality and pocket this governance index thing. In Naija armed robbers are our security; kidnappers our immigration officials and pen robbers are our rulers. This is the permanent residence of maternal mortality, childhood diseases, ethnic jingoism and religious wars.

But pray, which African leader is so poor as to give up his position as grand treasurer of his nation for Mo’s paltry $5 million? Someone should help me tell Mo to invest his money in Janjaweed militia, they would find enough blood to spill in a nation where life costs nothing.