Nurturing self respect

Adults will low self esteem hardly see anything good about themselves. They believe others are always superior to them. The problem is this type of mindset is not developed over night. Often times, it starts from an early stage in life and continues well into adulthood. This class of people find it difficult to make their own decisions, believing that some people will see nothing good in them. This way, gradually, they come to think that their opinions were of no value and they were never good enough.

Having self-respect implies that you like yourself and have a considerable amount of pride and dignity. When you respect yourself you feel confident, competent and have the courage to lead your life according to your personal values. Learning to respect yourself and others starts from childhood. It is not acquired over night. To help children grow in self respect, parents have a great role to play. Parents have to help their children to acknowledge their uniqueness and why it is okay to have their own goals and pursue them. They must learn to remain loyal, truthful and honest to themselves first before they can get commendations and respect from others.  They must learn to voice out their opinions but not in a rude way. Let them know that no one has power over their thoughts and it is up to them to make up their own minds and decisions at a certain time and stage in their lives.

Teach them to refuse to compromise on their values and principles.  They should learn to say ‘no’ to things or issues they disagree with or that are against their principles. Children should understand that to have self respect they have to learn not to be distracted from their attention in making themselves better people.

Tough times will test our courage, values and beliefs. If you are a person who has a sufficient level of respect for yourself, you will refuse to accept defeat without doing your best. So it is important we inculcate some of these values in our kids in an early stage in life. Giving up a challenge even if we lose out is more self respecting than not trying at all.

Aliyu A. Musa, an Accountant, says “Each time you overcome challenge and adversities; you strengthen your self esteem and build your courage to do what may seem impossible to some people. It enables you to look at the positive side of every difficulty and you realize that you can learn and grow from them. I have learnt to be more positive that way and with the self respect and confidence I have in myself. I have been able to overcome a lot of challenges. Self respect and confidence goes a long way in our lives but we hardly know.”

Kids are mostly bullied in school and threatened not to mention a word about to anyone. They should be taught to acknowledge their worthiness as human beings. Acknowledging their self worth allows them to still feel dignified when people humiliate or offend them. Unfair treatments and violation of rights can torment and cause anguish. Having a proper sense of pride will allow them to continue to walk tall and not take insults personally.

Teach kids to set standards and personal values. To enable them not to feel overwhelm with false pride while trying to establish their self respect, they must know what’s important to them and appreciate the values in others. They should set their own standards of what they will or will not accept and do only what is right. Teach them to desist from indulging in habits, beliefs and attitudes that are not empowering and are degrading.

Let kids understand that they have to take care of their appearance, character and behaviour if they have to gain self respect. Let them understand people can tell what kind of person they are from their behaviours character, attitude and appearance. They must learn to instil respect for themselves and others and maintain the qualities of one who is dignified and assured.

Self respect sure comes with its rewards but make sure this is nurtured into an attitude that doesn’t become pompous in nature.