Staying true to yourself

Inasmuch as we may not want to offend other people, or every now and again see their approval for certain things we do, many are of the view that it is important to be honest with yourself at all times. They say it is not worth one’s integrity or name to try to be somebody else.

“It is most important for me to keep my personal views and what others think or expect of me balanced,” said Emmanuel Chukwumalu. “I appreciate the fact that as individuals we all have our unique qualities that distinguish us. Therefore, regardless of my strong or weak points, I have learnt to appreciate those qualities as they are.”

The thirty three year-old graphic artist said, “If I decided to make amends it is not because someone needs to be pleased but because I’m convinced I need to. Because I know my strengths and weaknesses, I am able to do things that still allow me to speak my mind and be honest with myself and in ways that are not offensive or disrespectful.”

Gladys Ita said she has gradually begun to see in herself a semblance of blind Bartimaeus who screamed even louder when he was being shouted down by the disciples. “Whatever gathering I find myself I have learnt not to be scared of disagreeing or saying no if I have an alternative view. I have realised that shutting up to avoid being seen as the clog in the wheel does not often pay. I observe the atmosphere and at an appropriate time using an appropriate tone, I air my views. I always speak up.

“Also for my kind of business as a software designer, I have learnt that formal gatherings are not the only opportunities I have to sell my product. The informal ones over a few drinks have proved even more productive. I have gotten many deals, in selling myself I have got new ideas via suggestions and even ‘stolen’ some which I have modified. That way I still have some credits.”

For Emelda Omeruah, setting boundaries is what works for her most. “With my family, friends and work colleagues, I have set boundaries. I know where to draw the line when I relate with people and when they relate with me.”

The forty one year-old sales representative said, “In the past when those boundaries were being crossed I would start feeling uncomfortable but would not be able to stop it. Now I stick with my boundaries and ensure others do not cross lines too. I am a lot happier and relaxed.”

“In setting standards for myself and leaving up to the responsibilities assigned to me I also have to be accountable to myself and to others who have placed that much trust in me,” said Rueben Jarikre.

“You wonder why I say so. I say so because my conscience has to agree with the things I do. When my conscience and actions disagree, I call myself to order.

The post graduate student of the University of Abuja, said tough as it is sometimes, he is determined that I will be accountable for what I do. When I make mistakes I am not too proud to own up to them and correct them.”

Fairness and respect for self and others are two things Akin Oyejide an event organizer considers paramount if anybody thinks about being honest and true to themselves. The twenty eight year-old said, “Many don’t think they can be unfair and disrespectful to themselves but I think people can in the same way they are to others.

“We are all different and our perception of situations and our belief systems differ as well. It is therefore necessary for us to respect these differences. As they say, agree to disagree if necessary. The same way we would like others to respect our wishes, is the same way we have to respect theirs.”

Oyejide said, “In being fair and respectful to yourself, you know things that you are in line with and feel right about, you need to stick with them. Don’t undervalue yourself or go against your principles because you want to go with the crowd. That’s injustice to yourself and your conscience.

“You can do right without offending other people. Find a tactical way to do things that are right when others are involved without lording it over them. It may not be easy at first but you’ll get by gradually.”