Mrs. Margaret Fwa, an English woman married to a Nigerian and who just passed away 29 June 2012 at 76, was to me more than just a school principal. She was more than that. She was more like a mother, who taught me everything about life a mother can and should teach him. She inculcated in me as in others in the school, the essence of life: from a man’s relationship with God and his relationship with his environment. She taught me love and live in peace, above all else, but she also imbibed in me honesty, humility, decency, integrity, justice and tolerance. Personally, I attribute every success and achievement of my life so far, to her.
She made us understand the importance of law, order and adherence to them. As young folks, however, whenever we went contrary to the laid down rules of the school authorities and behaved in a bad manner, she would state clearly, “I refused to use the stick on you, because you are human beings and not donkeys; you have to do the right thing.”
I first met Mrs. Fwa June 12, 1997 when I was admitted into Concordia College Yola as a pioneer student (I finished 2002). That to me was the real beginning of my life as a man. The period spent under this distinguished principal and a teacher of outstanding qualities in every sphere of life was also my formative years. Prior to my becoming a Prefect as well as a House Captain, I was already very close to her, having come into the College with a long health history: an asthmatic. Whenever I had an attack during the school term, she made sure I spent the night in her residence such that if at night there was any further complication she could act fast. In any case she monitored my recovery through the night and until she was comfortable with my state of health.
And if you think it was because of any special affinity such as religion or any shared values, you are very wrong! She was an English lady married to a Nigerian. You see how as a human being she was detribalized and no bigot in any way. Mrs. Margaret Fwa regularly ensured before the arrival of the all-important Ramadan fast for Muslims, which all arrangements are in place to cater for the students belonging to the Islamic faith.
She it was who would wake me up in the wee hours of the morning for the early morning meals (Sahur) so that in turn I can wake up all the other Muslim students to prepare us all for fasting.
I grew up under the tutelage of Mrs. Fwa, understanding that coveting and possessing material things are not the key to happiness and peace of mind. For a good name is better than all the material things of the world. She taught us that with love, all things are possible.
Against the rampant cases of intolerance today, she harped on the importance of tolerance, made us understand that both religions based on the revealed books teach tolerance and respect for each other’s beliefs as clearly indicated in the holy scriptures: O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Surely the most honourable of you in the sight of God is the most pious of you. Indeed God is All knowing, All aware (Surah Hujurat Ch.43:V13) Romans 16:17: I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them.
The words of wisdom from the Desiderata Mrs. Fwa left us with on our graduation will always be fresh and evergreen in our hearts:
• Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others even the dull and ignorant; they too have their stories.
• If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
• Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep being interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
• Be yourself. Take kindly the counsel of the years, carefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
• Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
• And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams and drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
I cherish the words of inspiration and all that we learnt from you Mrs. Fwa, now and always, and we will pass them on to our children.
Although no man or woman is perfect, as perfection resides with Almighty God, I could not, until your death, pinpoint any of your imperfections. You were indeed an angel on earth and I hope and pray that your gentle soul will rest in perfect and everlasting peace in the bosom of our Lord until we meet again to part no more in the bliss of heaven– Amen.
Meanwhile, my condolences go to His Royal Highness the Murum Mbula, Joel Joram Fwa, beloved husband of the deceased, her sons: Messers Christopher, Anthony and Richard. My heartfelt condolences also go out to Mrs. Rebecca Mfon and all those who passed through her caring hands and grew under her watchful but kind eyes.
You were indeed an angel. Rest In Peace, Ma’am!
Duhu writes from Abuja
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