When snooping gets out of control

Women are naturally curious and when they get married their curiosity equally doubles – or in some cases triples. In doing this also, these women tend to forget that people have their individual rights to privacy. What they don’t know is that invasion of someone else’s privacy often demands a high price. Snooping, or what many people will simply refer to as spying, might seem okay at first but in the long run it signifies the beginning of the end.

According to Marc Kay, “When it comes to unearthing private information, not even the latest macho of James Bond can compete with the skills of an average female.” Many will want to believe this but then the question again is why do women snoop?

Normally, the nosy behaviour among women will include everyday stuff, from getting the latest gist about everything someone buys to wanting to know all that happens in everyone’s relationship. But then where does honest nosiness end and underhand snooping begin? Snooping becomes serious for some women when they start seeing changes in their husbands or friends. All of a sudden they feel the urge to monitor their partner’s every move – from checking phone calls and text messages, going through wardrobes and pockets to getting someone to spy on them. These tactics most often than not fail, but women keep coming up with new tactics until they become their own undoing.

Women can be famously neurotic when it comes to being suspicious and will go all out to assure themselves that their partners are not cheating on them. Women feel justified in their snooping. Mrs. Helen Allen says “I will not deny the fact that we women are all guilty of these negative traits. At a time I was suspicious of my husband and I waited for any slightest time to be left alone with his phone so that I can scroll through it to see if I could get hold of any number that I did not recognise and which I am suspicious of. But in the long run it only worsened the situation because I found that I could never bring myself to trust him again, I regretted ever going that far in trying to find the truth, it would have been better if I did not know anything at all, maybe that way there would have still been peace in the home.”

Aisha Ibrahim, a housewife in Kaduna, seems to concur. “Let me tell you what so many women do not know. Sometimes, there is joy in ignorance. I would prefer not knowing the little failings of my partner – at least I also have my own flows – than know them when I really cannot do anything about them. Sometimes men hide some things from their wife out of the love they have for them. So you should be careful not to box him into a corner.”

That women snoop is not in doubt, but the reasons for it are more complex, from curiosity to a feeling of insecurity. Some see it as an exercise in self preservation and relationship damage; some do it just to put their minds at rest. Even when there is nothing to snoop about women always have this annoying problem of snooping.

There are instances where snooping cannot be avoided according to Mr Paul Godwin. He said “Being curious is something we all have in all of us. We always want to get information about things that are going on around us especially if it has to do with our spouses but it crosses the line from being curious to being snoopy when it crosses someone’s privacy boundary.”

Speaking further, he said “There is the need to ask questions if you feel something fishy is going on but then you have to be careful what you get at the end as it can make or mar a relationship.”

Snooping is basically disrespect for the other people’s space or privacy. It only makes people to be less trustful of you and most people are foolish enough to confront the people they have being snooping upon. Inasmuch as we may not entirely free ourselves from the snooping bug, we must exercise self control so that we won’t end up with more than what we bargained for.

Mevin Mooore in his book says “Snooping is a slippery slope and there is a fine line between whether or not you should do it.”

So what side of the line are you on? Remember what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. In essence curiosity can make you stronger but snooping can’t. It can only kill you.