How ready are we for the inevitable?

One thing that is certain for every person that is born is the fact that he or she will die one day. But how prepared are we for this eventuality that takes away both the young and the old, man and woman without discrimination? Consider the story of those who died in last Sunday’s air crash. The victims left Abuja with the hope of landing safely in Lagos an hour later, but fate had decided otherwise.

Many were apparently not prepared for this rude shock which death had in stock for them. Perhaps if they had known, they would have done some things differently. Through the ill-fated crash, which resulted in the death of the planes passengers and crew members as well as residents on the ground, many women have become widows, children orphans and many more.

Now from where are these widows and orphans going to start from? Today Womanhood puts the question: how prepared are you as a woman and wife in the course of an eventuality where your husband answers the call of our creator?

Death, inevitable as we know it to be, is not something we preoccupy our minds with until it strikes, mostly unannounced. Then the reality downs on us that we have to come to terms and cope with it.

Many, especially women, these days dwell so much on their husband’s wealth and capabilities and forget that life could have a different twist from what we originally plan for ourselves. Many are unnecessarily boastful of their husband’s wealth and even take it to a state of extravagancy. But then have we ever stopped to ask, ‘What if this man isn’t there anymore, can I keep up with this kind of life or standard of living?’

“Let’s forget about ourselves for a while. What if something happens to us and we leave our children and other dependants behind. What have we put in place for them and what legacies would we be leaving behind for them,” Asks Aisha Alhassan, a telecommunication company staff based in Lagos. “No, it will never happen!’ Is the first fairy denial tale we try to assure ourselves with. But if most of us would be sincere with ourselves, we know that if death should come calling our world will also crumble like a pack of cards. Very few women would be able to keep up with the life of fantasy that we have built around ourselves when our better halves are no longer there with us. And truth be told, the kids would not be able to cope if we are no longer there. So what is the essence of us being alive if we are not prepared for what we all know will come one day?”

“Women living in a male financially dominated household are least morally and financially prepared for widowhood. The plight of widows in the society should be enough reason for any woman to start thinking what to do with her life even as her husband is still alive. Women are the least able to prepare for death so it affects them more in whatever circumstances that might lead to the death,” says Ahmed Abdulazeez, an Abuja based marriage counselor.

For the men, you are not free as you have a big role to play in whatever happens to your wife or kids in the case of any eventuality. Funke Egbemode, a columnist with Daily Sun asked “Take a deep breath and imagine for ten minutes what would happen to your wife and children if suddenly you breathe your last this moment. Will your wife need to withdraw your children from school. If you are not living in your own house, will she able to pay the house rent or have to move from a three bedroom apartment to a one bedroom or from your room and palour back to the village? Will she be thrown out of your house if you built one, by those more powerful than her? Just imagine your kids at best being farmed out to their uncles and aunties or losing one or two years in school while your full time wife finds her feet…….”  She posed this question in her article when she lost her husband last year.

While we make merry and live life at its fullest when our husbands and dear ones are still with us. We should also strive to make a meaningful life for ourselves with or without him. This is not to say we should fight for equal rights and opportunity with the men of the house or become uncontrollable. It is nice to have a man who provides but think for a minute how you will cope if he suddenly drops out of sight this minute.

This I would say is a thought for the wise and smart wives who wouldn’t want to be beggars when the unexpected happens. We all know friends and well wishers will always be with us now when the journey is smooth but when the going gets tough, very few will be there for you. So I ask again, how prepared are you?