The strength in giving support

A warm sincere smile from a spouse, a kind word of encouragement from a friend, a favourable appraisal from a superior, a motivating chat with a mentor, an expression of gratitude from someone who has benefitted from a good deed done to him or acknowledgment of one’s effort has impacted positively on someone else. Do you realize that these in other ways turn around to boost you and help you forge ahead as well? They are indications we are on the right track and should continue in that line.

But there are times when one feels alone, isolated as though one is trudging along a downtrodden path, unsure in what direction he/she is heading. Times when we truly feel less supported.  Usually it is such times that we are most sensitive. We notice things that we ordinarily would not have taken note of; we see the loop holes and at times, blame others.

For some people like Dan Godwin, “Often it’s precisely during these periods when we don’t feel supported that we are most sensitive to, and aware of, what’s missing, and we are able to provide this for others. Somehow our compassion and empathy is heightened and we give others, willingly the type of support we crave for ourselves.”

However, how do we get through such periods? Does one sit helpless and wallow in his misery or should one try to move out of the depressing state one is in? If you make an effort to get out of it, where exactly do you look for and find upliftment and the spark to spur you on?

According to research, “Using your special gifts to help others can be a gift to yourself as you enjoy a self esteem boost for making others’ lives better, and make the world a better place. You feel worthy of good deeds yourself, your trust in the decency of people is reinforced, and you feel more connected to yourself and to others.”

Indeed, one finds support through supporting and helping others. Helping others, it is said, brings good feelings to the giver and the receiver of the gesture. While adding meaning to the other lives, you too are also enriched.

Findings have shown that those who demonstrate more altruistic social interest tend to enjoy higher levels of mental health, above and beyond the practical benefits of receiving help and other known psychospiritual factors that you would expect.

It is impossible to have a balanced life that is devoid of service to others, as this singular gesture can help you feel less stressed out. It also makes one feel more connected to his spirit, more grateful for what one has, and less invested in the ‘rat race’ that causes stress for so many people.

Many answers to our worries live in a person’s creativity. Dan Godwin says, “As one with a creative mind, the kind of unconditional love and support provided by family and friends should remain valuable. Yet support from someone else who had similarly experience same doubts, anxieties and struggles remains the most valuable asset to overcome own troubles.”

Anyone who is creative is on his way to discovering viable means of solving his worries. It is important for one to recognise those things and people in their lives that are truly important, and how their creative work can touch others to make a difference.

With an urge to create communication between you and the next person, some kind of inner connection between you two, even in the early stages of a relationship is provoked.

Everybody has successes just as we have doubts and failures, there are moments of inspiration and exuberance, as are days of apparent isolation, and those of daftness. Just being in touch with others of like minds or sharing your problems with these people has a force, connection and benefit that is almost indescribable.

A major point with reaching out and supporting others is that in the process, it provides healing and answers to your own worries. In many ways, being supportive to another is a service to one’s self. By helping other people improve their lives for the good, we also feel good. It’s a simple equation.

Begin from now to consider how supportive you are to others and in what ways you receive support. Think about how you can increase your level of help for others even if you feel satisfied with what you are offering currently. You could even go a step further by forming your support group and focusing on a particular area in which you will be most effective.   Make a list of things you could do to offer support to someone else. Then pick at least three items and put them into action.

Always remember that rendering help feels good and makes you feel good too.