Why some wives need to cool down

As exciting as it could be during shopping for the family, trouble could also be lurking somewhere when the madam of the house finds out that her expectations on the kind of clothes that would be bought for her falls below her expectations.

Yes, some women especially housewives, are in the habit of competing with wives from other homes to determine who wears the most expensive clothe on sallah day. “It is discouraging that the women in this vain competition do not consider the trouble and sacrifices we have to make to get them these clothes. But instead of the man being appreciated, they scornfully tell him to his face that Mr. A or Alhaji B had bought supper wax, ghalila, swiss lace and all sorts of classic clothes for their wives. They forget that not all fingers are equal. My friends have been complaining about these kinds of attitude from their wives, mine has never tried it, the day she does; I will stop buying anything for her and rather give her the money to go and buy it herself. By that she has to be contented with whatever amount of money I give her,” says Malam Ibrahim Gambo.

Some women are of the habit of even telling their husbands that since the woman next door is sewing lace or super wax for the celebration therefore, she can’t wear anything less. The case is even worse should both women be co-wives and one is earning more than the other. Here, to save his head, some husbands tactfully prevent the more affluent wife from buying her choice materials by pretending he will buy same for both of them. Since Ramadan period is supposed to teach piety and to cleanse our hearts of vises, what lessons have such a woman learnt for which she intends to celebrate?

For Malam Haruna Ibn Yunusa, an Imam at one of the mosques in Wuse, “any woman or wife that finds fault in what the husband has gotten for her for the celebration is only succeeding in reducing the rewards she has gotten during the Ramadan period. In the first place, the essence of the Ramadan season is to purify, cleanse and get closer to our Creator. So, if she starts a fight or fusing around because of mere clothing, she should remember that when she dies she will only be buried with a plain white clothe that would not cost more than a thousand naira or even less. I think every wise and understanding wife would desist from even trying to make trouble out of vanities of the world. If the husband on his part refuses to live up to his expectations, she should be rest assured that her good deeds during the month of Ramadan will fight justice for her and Allah knows how best to deal with such husbands.”

Aisha Abulkareem, another respondent narrated how she was surprised one day when she was at the tailor’s and a man came in fuming. Visibly angry, he brought out a beautifully sewn clothe and told the tailor to sell it for him. In his words, “Can you imagine I bought this clothe for N30,000 for girl I am courting and when I called her to tell her about it all she could say was that if it was not ghalila, she would not collect it. Please can you compare this clothe to even the ghalila she is fusing about?” He went ahead to ask the customers in the tailor’s shop.

Aisha went on to explain that they all admired it and wished the lady in question knew the huge mistake she had made by the unprecedented rejection. “It did not just end there, but the man swore that what he would get her was not going to be more than N5,000. I wonder why some women can never be appreciative in the first place and come to think of it she isn’t even married to him yet and she has started to make all this trouble. If I had a chance to speak to her I would tell her to learn to be appreciative and trust in the instincts of her man no matter what” Aisha said.

It is unfortunate how some women turn their fortunes to waste during Ramadan. You find that they perform worship by doing different types of righteous deeds during Ramadan, they guard strictly upon their five daily prayers in the masjid, they recite the Qur’an a lot and they give in charity from their wealth. But when Ramadan comes to an end, they grow crazy and envious over material things of the world, threatening to destabilize the home if their demands are not met.

There is a need for women to be considerate and cautious for continuous peace and tranquility in the home. There is really no reason for anyone to be competitive in things that would not last beyond life itself. Such acts that people should compete in that last till eternity include acts of kindness and virtue which even after death, one would be remembered for while hopefully, same good gestures would be extended to one’s progeny.

Besides, who says you cannot look like a queen in the cheapest material well-sewn? Happy Ramadan.