Rahimatu, you were more than just a wife

Innaa lillah Wa Innaa ilaihi Raajiuun (from Allah we come and to Him we shall return). As a widower for the last two years, I am still under the emotional burden from the loss of my wife, Mrs. Rahimatu Mohammed Idris Abdulrahman Darman – who died at the youthful age of 27years By her death, I have come to realize that in life there are some people who touch you deeply. Her death remains one of the darkest points of my adult life. This is because I always felt during her life time that I might not have been a perfect husband but in her I found almost a perfect wife!

Any time I read about or listen to issues related to maternal mortality, the only person that comes to my mind is the late Rahimatu; a woman that gave me the best support any wife could possibly offer a husband. In her, I got the best any husband could possibly wish for. We lost Rahimatu to pregnancy related complications after seven years of married life: from 26th April, 2002 to the day we lost her forever along with her third pregnancy.

The late Rahimatu who hailed from Jimeta, Yola was more than a dedicated mother, a humble and loyal wife who gave me her all. I pine for her early morning `wake-up’ calls; which she made with dedication whether she was at home with me or at the campus as a student of Bayero University Kano. She did this so that I don’t miss subh prayers in congregation. I have been missing this gesture which I have had cause to acknowledge.

The vacuum created by her death is manifest in terms of her encouragement and support for me to visit friends and relations through her words of ’’zumunta a kafa ta ke” (relationships are better maintained through mutual visits).  She gave me strength in observing the Prophet’s traditional Mondays and Thursdays weekly fasting. Now that Rahimatu is no more, I have resolved to maintain all those good and virtuous deeds in craving for Allah’s mercy believing that she would be rewarded for encouraging me accordingly.

Our seven years of married life will surely remain the most memorable periods of my life simply because when I was marrying her I thought I was only marrying a wife. But luckily for me, she turned out to be a dependable companion, an excellent adviser, a loyal wife, a strong pillar of support, an exemplary mother, supporter of all that is good and most importantly a devoted Muslim. Rahimatu was indeed a wife like no other.

I have met many of her classmates with whom she attended Uncle Bado Primary School, Kaduna Capital School, both in Kaduna as well as Bayero University Kano, and their encouraging comments about her strength of character and high sense of morality, all of which I attested to as her husband, have freshened the pain of losing her because Rahimatu had lived an exceptionally good and responsible life before our marriage in 2002.

My two greatest consolations today are our seven year old son (Amir) that the marriage was blessed with and the fact that she died a martyr. May her worthy life as a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, wife and mother be the reflective mirror of our son’s personal conduct in life. May Allah SWT grant us all (myself, my son, her parents and mine, friends and well wishers and indeed the entire Muslim ummah the fortitude to bear the loss of Rahimatu. May Aljannatul Firdaus be our collective abode.

The truth is that Rahimatu died two years ago but I am still mourning her and will surely continue to mourn her for the rest of my life. May Allah SWT forgive us all (Amen). Goodbye my dear Rahimatu.

Adamu wrote from N.B.T.E Kaduna.