Why you should be nice to people you dislike

In fact, you just may be surprised how the age-old adage about “catching more flies with honey than vinegar” holds a lot of validity. The next time someone you know (or don’t know personally) displays his/her worst side, you might want to rethink how you react…

What goes around comes around

You needn’t be an overly religious person to understand that in life, very often the behaviors you exhibit in the world, you ultimately experience yourself at one time or another. Since this goes for both the good and the bad, it would behoove anyone to take the “higher ground” as often as possible. The bottom line is that as much as we’d like to seek revenge upon those who cause us harm, we frequently end up harming ourselves more by doing so.

One reason is because it usually requires more effort to do something negative than positive. In addition to that, negative responses typically beget negative results—even if the other person happens to have been in the wrong first. Consequently, it’s fairly difficult to “retaliate” against someone whose intentions are pleasant.

Chain reaction

Being kind to those who profoundly bother us has some other benefits. Studies have shown that human behavior itself has “contagious” effects. Think of the rubbernecking that usually goes on after a terrible highway accident. Most of the time, the wreckage has already been cast to the side; but even after the roads become passable, onlookers will continue to clog the area. It’s understandable for a hideous spectacle to attract lots of attention.

But in most cases, the wreckage isn’t terribly extraordinary. In many cases, people choose to slow down and gawk because they see other drivers doing so. Believe it or not, the same principles apply to other behaviors. For example, let’s say that a person on your job consistently brings you grief. By treating him/her with kindness, he/she may have the epiphany that his/her actions were ultimately uncalled for.

Furthermore, others who see you deflecting the negative behavior may catch on, thus reducing the amount of negativity around. You may also be pleasantly surprised by the way your actions set an example for others. Remember, positive energy is often just as contagious as negative energy.

Personal peace

Perhaps the most important thing you can do for yourself in the face of adversaries is maintain your own sense of peace. On many occasions, people are simply pleased by watching your feathers get ruffled. It brings malicious people a feeling of empowerment to believe that they are capable of altering someone’s good nature.

By refusing to allow someone to disturb your “inner sanctum” (sounds earthy, huh?) you have just won a major battle. Responding in kind to someone’s flip remarks give you the silent upper hand. And it just may prevent that person from attempting to thwart your good mood (or that of others) in the future.

The human factor

It’s incredibly difficult sometimes to adjust your mode of thinking where it regards ill-mannered people. But perhaps the most crucial thing to remember about those individuals that cause us distress is that they are still human beings. Believe it or not, there are reasons why people seemingly go out of their way to make others miserable. You need not put someone under a psychological microscope to conclude that certain aspects of their life circumstances figure into their poor attitudes.

Nonetheless, everyone has something positive about them that can be acknowledged by others. By seeking out and highlighting their strengths or achievements (instead of stooping to their level) you just may find your “enemies” more tolerable. Sometimes people need to be reminded of the good parts of themselves in order for them to be relieved of their own negative feelings.

Mind you, this doesn’t mean that you need to go out of your way to analyze and “cure” others. But the mere act of deflecting poor behavior with kindness has quite an undeniable and irresistible power.

Courtesy: Associated Content