Is your being submissive slavery or freedom?

Mr. Akosa  Ejiofor says that his first marriage crumbled because his former wife was too strong hearted and always wanted things done in her own way, so they always quarrelled. According to him, they always had one fight or the other to settle and at the end, they had to separate because she could not be submissive to him in all her duties.

Most marriages today have crumbled because the women could not bring themselves to be submissive to their husbands. Some divorced women said being submissive was a disaster for them; that they became doormat and the marriage became unbearable for them. This is the answer you get from most women; they feel there is no happiness in being submissive to their husbands, but only frustration and depression. The question that they forget to ask themselves is that when things are done on their terms in the home, they lose respect for the husband who also becomes their doormat.

Being a submissive wife does not necessarily mean that the wife becomes a slave to the husband. A relationship expert, Mrs. Zainab A. Alhassan, says that “being submissive to your husband does not subject you to being a slave to him, what it means is you should support and devote yourself to him.” She also said this is an injunction that has been ordained from our creator. “Almost all holy books stipulated in them that wives should be submissive to their husbands.”

There is also the notion that in these modern times there are no longer submissive wives in the society today. Most submissive women are viewed as weak and unable to speak for themselves or make their own decisions. Obedient and submissiveness do not translate to wives being wimpy, it is more to respecting their husbands and recognizing that they are the heads of the families and homes.

Being submissive entails a wife to respect the thoughts, wants, needs and decision of her husband. It is also necessary for the good and health of their relationship. According to Ustaz Zakari  Uthman, being submissive is the key to a happier and  successful marriage. Pastor Linus Francis corroborated by saying that “some of the most successful marriages around are those that the husband and wife have based their marriage on the injunction of God, it is clearly stated that wives should be submissive to their husbands.”

Being submissive also goes a long way in sending a signal to the children that their father is the head of the family and he has the last say in matters regarding the family.

Your submissiveness to your husband also lays a foundation and an example for your children, these children see what submission looks like through you as their mother and they carry these principle with them into their married life also. One question that someone asked in the cause of seeking opinions for this topic that left me pondering was “Is your being submissive to your husband slavery? Then does that mean your husband’s love for you is stupidity?”  Go ahead and give yourself a genuine answer.

Being submissive does not rub you off your social status or power in the society but goes a long way in enhancing your dignity in one way or the other before right thinking people of the society. The ball is in your court to decide if submissiveness will bring you freedom or frustration.