Parenting in the right direction

Last week a friend posted on her facebook status the question her son asked. His question went thus ‘mum why should I trust adults?’ The said mother was baffled and asked her friends to bail her out. The friends were baffled as to what may have made the kid to ask such question. As the woman’s are dumbfounded, one thing can be deduced from the child’s mentality if what is said above about kids’ high IQ is anything to go about: highly probable, the child may have encountered several irresponsible adults he came across.

You know some parents have a way of evading kids and not telling them the truth when there is need to do so. Also, some parents make some promises they really do not want to keep to their kids, e.g. if they want to go out and the kids pester them with the request to follow. They would promise to buy them one thing or the other. When returning home they do not come with the items promised thinking the kids would forget. Some kids do not forget really. And if such situation repeats itself severally – it really does – kids with strong memories would readily ask the above question. The parent who takes pass time in indulging in this kind of lie telling and deceiving the kids are most likely to be confronted with this kind of embarrassing question from their children. If it is a lie, parents’ reactions are welcome. Let them give us a feed back on their experiences with their children as far as this issue we are talking about is concerned.

It all boils down to what models or legacies we are setting out for our kids.

Children are a gift from God, and they are usually a source of joy and pride of every parent. The way we show them love and understanding determines to a large extent what they become in life. The big question now is what kind of role models are we to our children?

Parents must understand that they are the first life contact and role models in their child’s life before they (kids) get in touch with the wider world.

Every child learns in his or her own special way, but they generally learn vicariously by observing others and noting the consequences of their action. Children are very perceptive and watch every move parents make; they imitate the behavior, actions, values, belief and even expressions of their parents. As they grow, they begin to innocently practice those things they had observed from their parents; with time they do it in the presence of their mother. It could be how father and mother relate with each other or how they receive and treat visitors in the homes. It is therefore instructive that parents cannot afford to take whatever they do for granted. It does not matter even if those actions are in the presence or when they children are away outside playing. In fact, parents have to be extra careful when the children are of school ages.

Think through what you are modeling to your kids. You are the only one in the best position of tremendous power regarding the mental and physical development of your child. It is, therefore, very important that you be a good role model for your child because it is the only dependable way the child can learn values he will carry on in life. Through your actions, behavior, words and love you can direct your children towards a decent and dependable future and where you want them to be in future.

Dr. Patience Anthony a psychologist stresses that if you want your child to be of good behavior and manner, then you have to start to be a good role model to them from a very early stage of life. So, it is now up to the parents to be a good role model to their kids from the day the baby arrives home.

Do really know that they are their kids’ best role models especially the boys who are more fond of their moms than their fathers?  As a mother, what are you modeling to your child through your behavior? Look through these questions carefully and see if you are being a positive role model to your kids.

•    Do you effectively resolve conflicts with people amicably or you fight and fuss about an argument you had with someone?

•    Do you handle disappointments with a rational, positive strategy or do you drown yourself in drugs, alcohol or other negative behaviors to suppress the disappointment?

•    Does your family see you approach problems and setbacks as opportunities or do you see them as crisis?

•    Do you model high morals and discourage gossips, lying to people and taking unfair advantage of a situation or a person amongst other negative behaviors?

•    Do you model self esteem and self worth based on worthy character traits or do you model materialistic things in terms of latest fashion e.t.c?

•    Do you model a relationship that is supporting, loving and caring or do you model a relationship that criticizes others?

•    Do you model taking care of yourself properly through what you eat or do you just go eating junk food, do you keep late nights or come home with friends that are not decent?

These few questions will assist you to evaluate yourself to see if you are being a good role model to your kids. The better a role model you are to your child the more you develop your child’s self esteem and confidence. What you do influences your child’s behavior far more than what you say. To be a better role model you need to be a good listener to your kids.

Not being a good role model for your kids’ means that you will be setting a setting a faulty foundation for the future of your child. Children know how much parents love them, but they will be happier when you do things with them, as a role model, do all that you can and show your enthusiastic position in helping them find out more about themselves. Show your kids that you can be that find that they can always confide and count on in their times of need and desperation.

What our kids become in future tells the type of people we were or are when the kids were growing up, most parents forget that who we are is always reflects in our kids. So if you have not being doing a very good job, but it not too late to buckle up and try to make the future bright for your lovely kids. Mothers are more crucial at children’s development stages than the father, simply because mothers are always with them it does not matter even if the mother is a career woman. This however does not preclude the father from leaving the entire child up-bringing to the mother alone. It is just a joint responsibility. The child needs to know who is who and who does what in the house. And like it is said above, those responsibilities must be done correctly for the children to see and imbibe it for their own future.