The mother-daughter project!

Most times, the mother/daughter relationship could be compared to one on a roller skate. There are times in the relationship where it leaves the mother feeling anxious, fearful or even nauseated, especially when the mother and daughter are in the midst of an argument. But amidst all these, there is one thing for sure- that this ride with your daughter is one that will never come to a halt. No matter how scary or intolerable the ride may get with your daughter, there is not even a chance of getting off! This ride is forever.

When it comes to finding a common ground, the teen years can be especially hard for mothers and daughters. How to stay connected to your daughters and foster a positive relationship while giving them space and room to grow seems impossible.

Every mother/daughter relationship faces challenges and it becomes inevitable at some point. There will challenges that will test the strength of the relationship. Giving up on your daughter as most mothers tend to do will be doing more harm than good. If a mother can’t stand by her daughter who else will?

Mother/daughter relationships are not different from other forms of relationships. The communication in the mother daughter relationship is very vital because of the exchange of emotions and words that give the feeling of closeness and strengthens the bond. Mother/daughter communication is an exchange of expectations which reinforces our roles in one another’s life.

Whether your daughter is an infant or turns 40 tomorrow, whether you both talk frequently or sparsely, it is up to you the mother to create an environment conducive to openness and true sharing. At this point, it does not matter if both of you exchange harsh words and exchange blows.  All that matters is that you begin the process of working towards a healthier and more loving dynamic relationship with your daughter. All depends on how you channel the relationship.

“Iit is extremely important to talk to your daughter. As we grow up and experience many different situations that sometimes we do not want our mothers to know, but we would like them to always be there for us.  Knowing that we can talk to our mothers and knowing that there are interested in us and what we have to say is important. We are not asking for mothers to be our best friends because they are much more important and precious than being best friends, so when we go through situations, we think of what we really do care about; so I always think twice before I do something. I always ask myself, ‘would my mother really want me to do this?’  Communicating with your daughter brings a closer relationship than not communicating. I think that it is the key ingredient if you really love your daughter and wanting to be there for her, just talk she will understand what you are trying to get across to her, yet understand her feelings as well” says Maryam Abdullah, a teenager with one of the public schools in Abuja.

Without communication there will be no mother and daughter relationship. It will only be fact written on paper and not a relationship and this way the daughter will not learn about herself or even her future.

It is up to you because you are not only the designated driver of your family and its responsibilities and so are you essentially responsible for your daughter’s existence in the first place. Whether conceiving the child was a conscious choice or a mistake that you ultimately chose to celebrate, you hungered to have a child and create a family, took the necessary steps to become pregnant or adopt a child and so in essence you committed yourself to a lifetime mission. This in  itself, is a huge achievement you have attained in life.

Relationship with one’s daughter must be an exclusive focus for all mothers if they mean well for their daughters and want them to turn out to be responsible and dependent individuals. So, it is your duty and responsibility to fully embrace the next challenge and figure out a better way to communicate with your daughter to make a better and stronger her. So, why not start a positive mother/daughter project that would stand the test of whatever storm it faces in its course!