Married life requires lots and lots of compromise if it is to work, even if it takes us learning it from the very moment we get married or after some years of heated debate, compromise is something we all eventually have to discover as one of the pillars of marriage. Compromise in marriage is not one that the wife does and nags about it all day but compromising without resentment.
Compromise involves two parties and one giving up something for the benefit of the marriage. However, nowadays women find it difficult to compromise because they feel if they compromise they are giving up their right and this starts to be the beginning of crisis in the home.
Compromise is not the easiest thing in the world to do. For those who are married – well, compromise sounds hard on paper but it is one that you must be willing to adopt and make use of in your life for things to go on smoothly.
Some people like John Shore are of the belief that compromise is not what makes a marriage but learning never to compromise is the key. One will say this is not true and there are also women who belief that this statement is true but are only putting a wedge in their relationship.
How do you achieve a compromise without resentment? First and foremost, understand that agreeing to disagree is sometimes an option – but if you do agree to disagree – don’t hang onto any anger or resentment for each other. The second thing to remember is that your spouse should come before other relationships.
We have all heard a million times and more that marriage is about give and take. The two people must work together. In a marriage it is not always possible for both persons to have their way. Therefore, sometimes one person gives and the other takes. Of course this works much better if both people get to experience both the giving and the taking.
Though, people often talk of a successful marriage or a successful partnership being based on mutual give and take. When you try to reach a compromise in your marriage, you both will be giving your marriage all the commitment and effort it needs. While meeting halfway in trying to compromise is important, you should be willing to give in sometimes by letting go of some of the things that might seem offensive to you for the sake of peace in the marriage.
It is important to realize that without compromise, normal arguments could degenerate into serious friction and feelings of resentments will begin to crop up. One must understand that compromise in marriage is when you move from competition to cooperation. Compromise in a marriage is finding common ground where both parties are willing to agree on a common ground in a particular situation or issue and forge ahead with life.
We will all need to learn to compromise on some issues in life especially in marriage because in life we cannot afford to be at logger heads with people around us. Therefore there are instances where we must give in to the opinion of others for the good and benefit of the relationship.
Most women view compromise as being the complete dunce in the relationship and keep asking how much she should give in or should she give all in the marriage. Most times wives feel we are educated, financially independent and if need be can stand on our own. Notwithstanding all these bending a little will not affect your personality or prestige!
In fact, there are several reasons why compromise is not and should not be the dirty word in any woman’s dictionary. Learning to find balance and compromise in marriage can and will definitely ensure a deeper connection between you and your spouse.
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