Providing soft landing for criticism

How do you take criticism? Are you able to turn the negativity into a stepping stone or you are one of those who take it upon yourself to find a way to get back at the person giving the negative criticism? To what extent can you turn negative criticism to your advantage?  

Some people feel it is their duty to criticise everything about everyone. If you have one of those people in your life, think about the way their words might affect you and how you can equally forge ahead despite their negative remarks. Know that you owe no one anything, so no one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself or what you do.

At our workplace

At our workplace, employers are not always good at delivering constructive criticism, but chances are that your boss is not simply a mean person or means to deliberately hurt you emotionally. He may really be trying to tell you ways to improve without realising how it sounds. Using criticism to your advantage is a process and skill that you must learn to develop; else you will only end up being depressed by every slight negative remark that comes towards your direction.

It is a fact of life that sooner or later, we are going to face some criticism, both in our personal life and in our career. Criticism in our career can be very hard to take since our careers are so important to us. However, the way we handle criticism can help to define other people’s perception of us. The first thing to remember is that not all criticisms are bad.

Turning hurtful criticism into something good is of great advantage to you and your wellbeing. You are the only person who can decide how people’s words affect you. Instead of getting angry, hurt or depressed, choose to let the words energise and motivate you. Do not let criticism shake your self-esteem or paralyse you. Instead, decide whether it is valid criticism, use the helpful points and disregard the emotionally-charged pieces which might have been said out of frustration and mere jealousy to inflict emotional pain on you.  

Psychologist Salisu Abdullahi says, “Understand that all criticism is an opportunity for you to re-evaluate yourself and improve. Every critical analysis you receive is an open door. When used wisely, it will better you”. Decide whether you have been criticised based on factual information about yourself or whether a person is criticising you because they’re insecure about themselves. Recognising negative commentary for what it is will allow you to ignore it and focus your energy on helpful criticism.

Criticism can make us feel hurt, angry, vulnerable, guilty or helpless. Even words from strangers in a parking lot may cause distress. We can dwell on those words for hours, take them personally and overreact or we can learn from them. Criticism can be deflating and self-demoralising, but it can also be inspiring.  

The simple trick is to learn how to tell which criticisms are worth taking to heart and which are said out of unjustifiable jealousy. Helpful criticisms spur you to do more of whatever it is you do, and to do it better.

We cannot control whether or not we are criticised, however, we can control how we respond to criticism. We can also take control of situations when we are being criticised. We can live through criticism without being devastated. We can even learn from criticism and make it work to our advantage.

So next time you find yourself being criticised, do not lose your cool, just keep your head and keep calm and turn the experience into a positive one that works to your advantage.