An overprotective mother loves her children so much and ends up protecting them to the extent that they are not able to fend for themselves without her. An overprotective mom shields her child from consequences of his own action, never allowing him to fail, even when it might be healthy for his personal growth.
On the other hand, these kids become so addicted to the protection and concern accorded them by their mothers that if and when they face trouble or difficulties, they are not able to tackle and come out of them successfully. In other relationships also, they want to receive and hardly know how to give. It has been seen that the case of overprotective mothers happens more in the case of boys than in girls. Be it a boy or a girl, being an overprotective mother is not conducive to the personality development of the child.
Though some people are of the belief that the overprotective mother is all that stands between a child and self-destruction, they fail to realise that they send a message to the children that they cannot do or handle anything on their own. If not, how then can one explain why a mother still takes decision for her grown-up children of ages 23 to 30 and even older? We tend to protect our children so much that we do not realise that there are some lessons in life they need to learn on their own. The best thing (but certainly not the easiest) is to step back and let them live their life and be there to assist whenever they need you. Mothers should realise that being overprotective weakens the child’s belief in his ability to solve his own problems.
No matter the extreme lengths you may go to protect your kids, it is almost impossible to create a completely safe environment. You cannot keep them locked up in the house for the rest of their lives, so you have to let them learn and make mistakes and also learn from those mistakes. While you should take reasonable measures to keep your child safe and healthy, being an overprotective mom prevents one’s kids from experiencing life both in the positive and negative way. Being overprotective has its negative effects as the child is never able to fully mature, because he is always on the lookout for someone to depend on. The child will also never be able to shoulder responsibility, because as a child, he had never been given responsibility or being held accountable for anything.
All children need an opportunity to explore the world physically and emotionally without constant interference from their parents in order to become confident, responsible and independent adults. In a single overprotective action, you could zap the confidence of your child in the name of protecting that child. If you are having a hard time trying to let your child have some independence, you may want to ask yourself if truly you are being overprotective.
Overprotective mums do not just tend to be overprotective in terms of physical harm to their kid, I also see mums go way overboard in protecting their children’s feeling. If you are an overprotective mum, you should try and change your attitude if you want your kids to grow up as independent and confident adults. You should try and back off and let your child experience the consequences of his or her actions. Children from the beginning need to be able to understand their actions, that means real understanding of what they are doing and its consequences and that life is a matter of choices and one full of everyday learning process.
Most of today’s kids have not been taught and as a result cannot make reasonable and capable choices for new situations. There is a way to teach your kids how to be responsible and protect them without going way overboard. Parents, especially mothers, just need to find that balance. Yes, I know that the world is a dangerous place for people, especially kids, but I think it is really important to understand that as our kids get older, they develop a mind and thoughts of their own. Parents are here to raise children to become individuals that will make positive contribution to the society. How can these children become these individuals if their parents do not let them see society or even make choices about them? Yes, they might fall a couple of times, but you know what, let them learn from their mistakes.
Allow them to become productive individuals in the society who can make positive contributions. Good and bad experiences are what make people to grow into distinct individuals in future. Find a happy medium with your kids, make them aware of the dangers of the real world, but do not make them terrified to figure things out on their own, as they will remain naïve forever if you never give them the chance to learn about life. You’ll only make things tougher if you make your children weaker by not letting them deal with everyday hurdles of life.
Letting go is a hard thing to do, but helping our kids find independence in an appropriate age will in the long run help them to grow into independent adults just as nature intended. The only love we can give our kids is by allowing them to be individuals that can stand on their own in future.
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