When money turns friends to enemies

Many of us have had our fair share of disappointments from friends and in the process lost some of those friendships. One way most of us have lost friends is by lending money or something to them and they never return it. Such acts have led to breakup of relationships, thereby turning friends to enemies. 

Madam Jummai explains her predicament, “An ex friend was in a difficult situation and she came to me for help (She is ex because she is no longer my friend). I gave her the money she wanted. For three years now, she has refused to pay me and is carrying on as if everything is normal.”

Halima Baba, 43-year-old engineer, says, “The irony of the whole thing is that when such people want to collect the money, they are the most humble people on earth and they cherish and adore you but when it comes to time for paying they block your line and ignore you totally. Some go to the extent of victimizing you over your own money. Human beings are quite strange.” 

Hauwa Salihu, 39-year-old lawyer, says, “Growing up my parents drummed it in our ears that it was never wise to mix money and friendship even with siblings. It’s human nature not to want to return a debt. As an adult now, I have lived by that advice as I have tried not to loan money I can’t forfeit to friends I cherish. That way, I still have my friend and see the money as sadaqa if they don’t return it.”

Bilkisu Ahmed, 39-year-old accountant, says, “It’s funny what friends do to each other all because of money. I keep asking myself why people will do such to their friends who helped them when in need, why? I can’t live with that guilt, it’s so wrong. Someone who trusts you enough to lend you money in time of need is a friend you should cherish forever. But, interestingly, some people don’t care what others think of them when such happens. For me maintaining a good name and saving my relationship with my friend matters a lot.”

Chika Dikeh, 40- year-old shop owner, says, “It doesn’t just happen with friends, it’s even worse with family. The paying back scenario degenerates to a big family feud. Most times family buy things and automatically believe they are entitled to the goods and must not pay or pay whenever they like. They keep taking goods without paying for what they must have picked from the shop before. It’s not fair to make people who take pity on you feel guilty for asking for their money back.”

Tope Abiola, 38-year-old PR consultant, says, “The ground rule is never lend to someone what you can’t part with. I will give them but will have it at the back of my head that it may not come back to me. If he/she returns it fine, and if not still fine but one thing is for sure; such a person surely can’t come asking for help in any form again. I have seen scenarios where the lender becomes an instant enemy when he/she asks for the money back. There are people without integrity everywhere.”