Why would anyone want an extravagant wedding?

Extravagant weddings are fast-becoming the in-thing, as people spend ridiculous sums of money to have their nuptials become the talk-of-town. A lady who was getting married to her prince charming travelled to Dubai, United Arab Emirates three times to shop for her wedding but when the wedding day came, she couldn’t afford to pay the photographer. She had to borrow money to settle him. This makes the next question inescapable: ‘Why would anyone want an extravagant wedding?’ We got interesting, yet diverse views from a bevy of respondents.
Ismail Ahmed, 27, is an IT specialist who holds the view that marriage is beyond the wedding celebration, as a lot of things have to be put into consideration before squandering all the money one has got. “Honestly, I see this new trend as pure madness,” he said. “How could she travel abroad three good times just to shop for her wedding? I mean, I am not saying she shouldn’t, but is she buying the whole of the UAE to bring to Nigeria?”
He added that: “People are crazy and they never cease to amaze me. Marriage is far more than that, from my point of view. If she had saved the money she used to travel, it would have done so much good after the wedding.” He cited the example of a friend of his who got married last year. “He told his wife that he could afford an exquisite wedding but then if she chooses that, their honeymoon trip would be cancelled because all his savings would be spent on the wedding. She thought of it and came to realize that the wedding ceremony was simply something that would come and pass and the money spent on it wouldn’t be recovered.” Interestingly, they travelled to three countries for their honeymoon which according to the new couple was a trip worthy of the money spent since they will live with memories and education they shared and gained while on it. After the trip, the husband also bought his wife a brand new car.
“People can save a lot by cutting so much during the wedding,” Ahmed said. “It is not a crime to have a small yet beautiful wedding. It doesn’t have to be big and extravagant. The most important thing is the life to be lived after the wedding.”
Falmata Bukar, a graduate in her 20s, said in today’s digital age where celebrities are spending over half a million dollars on just flowers and thousands of dollars on wedding gowns, it is not surprising that Nigerians are following the new trend. She said: “There is a vendor for every single detail nowadays from decoration to photography to catering and souvenirs. Gone are the days where brides strive to be on the cover of glossy society magazines. These days, every bride wants to be covered by the hottest photographer, which would guarantee heavy presence on social media, gossip websites and blogs.”
Explaining that wedding ceremonies are no longer intimate affairs, but large extravagant competitive ones, Bukar referred to a recent article on CNN.com titled ‘My big fat Nigerian wedding.’
“The article shows just how extravagant weddings in Nigeria could be. Imagine a couple spending their entire life savings on the wedding and end up with no money for grocery shopping after the first month of marriage. In order to curb these extravagant weddings, Nigerians need to understand that coats need to be cut according to everyone’s size and cultivate the nature of contentment,” she said.
A banker in her late 20s, Cecilia Timothy, thinks a lot has to be done when it comes to how Nigerians spend lavishly on weddings. According to her, many people believe that if one doesn’t hold a lavish wedding, he or she doesn’t belong to the upper and elite class. “I always sit and ask myself why it is that some people don’t think of the debt they might incur after throwing an extravagant wedding? Marriage is a life-time commitment and instead of newly-weds to enjoy their marriage the first few months, many are instead, running helter-skelter looking for money to settle debts.
“I am personally against extravagant weddings. I believe it is better for one to think well before spending a lot on them. You don’t have to show off to please people or to let them know you are rich,” she advised.
Joseph Yusuf, an accountant, simply thinks extravagant weddings are uncalled for and they don’t add up in any way. He added that even wealthy people who go about throwing extravagant events shouldn’t. The father of two said: “I know of a couple who were married in grand style and millions spent. A few months later, the couple started having problems and eventually divorce was the only option for them. Marriage isn’t all about the wedding, a couple should just pray to God to bless the marriage and not squander so much money on the wedding just for people to see and talk. I have been to quite a number of weddings that were perfectly coordinated without any form of extravagance. People need to set their priorities first and personally, I don’t think extravagant wedding should be anyone’s priority.”
Peter Agboga Jr., a civil servant in his late 20s, on the other hand sees nothing wrong with one having an extravagant wedding, especially when that person can afford it. He added that weddings are special because it is the beginning of a new life for a couple and therefore should be memorable. “My wedding day will be the happiest day of life and I look forward to it. I would spend all I have to make it spectacular, one that can’t be forgotten easily. When the day comes, I will make sure I go for nothing but the best in terms of decoration, wedding venue, invitation cards, food and in fact everything. I intend to wear the most expensive suit one could ever think of. I am going to get married once, so why wouldn’t I have a grand event to mark an important day?”
According to Agboga Jr., in life, whatever one does, people would still talk. “If you have a small wedding, they gossip about you and say you couldn’t even afford a big one. When you have a high-class one, they say you spent lavishly on a mere wedding. One has to do what pleases him and not others, because in the end, people would still talk.”