Curbing the excesses of children

When children give out information meant to be secret to visitors or at public places, it causes embarrassment to their parents. Many believe this is as a result of lack of home training or sometimes overzealousness of the children. How can parents curb this behaviour in children?
Secrets shouldn’t be discussed in the presence of children, so believes Anita Mabama. The 34-year-old lawyer says: “Don’t discuss secrets in front of children, they are innocent and most times tell the truth when asked a question. Parents need to be careful what they say in front of children. Whenever he goes behind his limits he should be flogged to restore his brains to factory setting.”
Anita adds that: “Even if you have to flog, let the child know the reason why you are flogging him. Afterwards, sit him and tell him stories of how children get their parents into trouble when they talk or reveal too much.”
Yemisi Sadiq, a 37-year-old banker, says: “Don’t beat the child as that will not solve the problem. At his age he is still young and cannot understand the gravity of what he is doing. As part of their training, they are taught not to keep secrets, so they naturally reveal all, irrespective of who is there. Sit him down with that mean face on and tell him he should never tell people what happens at home. If he wants to talk, he should talk to mummy or daddy. If someone asks him anything about mummy and daddy, he should tell them he doesn’t know. As parents, your husband and you should work on yourselves too. Since he is like that, don’t do things in front of him. Don’t argue in front of him. Don’t discuss anything personal in front of him till he knows when to keep things to himself. Anytime you go out with him, keep reminding him. Teach him but don’t beat him.”
Children learn different things every day, it’s better for parents to nip the problem in the bud now rather than allow it to worsen as the child grows up. Patience Jatto, a 35-year-old media consultant says: “Scold him sternly and let him realise it is wrong to have a loose mouth, remember children are future husbands or wives we are bringing up, if we don’t work on curbing this attitude in them now, they will grow to be lousy husbands or wives and may never enjoy marriage.  Again, children just don’t start the habit; they must have learnt that from one of the parents. Whoever among parents that talks too much should work on it else the child keeps thinking it is the right thing to do.”
Muhammed Aminu, a businessman, says the way in which most parents raise children is to blame for this kind of attitude: “When I was a child and my parents wanted to discuss, they simply sent us on an errand or got us engaged. When children are young, and they exhibit such character, parents tend to laugh it off, forgetting that children grow up with these attitudes thinking it is right. Children keep doing this without being cautioned and they tend to grow up feeling it is good to tell everyone who cares to listen about everything they hear.”
Every child has a trace we need to curb early. Children tend to be honest and truthful at all times. So they tend to relate to others what they know and hear. As parents, we should be cautious of what we discuss in the presence of our children. Beating children for this kind of offence is wrong as it will not work because it will make them think telling the truth and being honest is wrong. Also, tell them that family issues are not divulged to strangers, if you don’t curb this behaviour now, they will grow up with it. We have a saying that if you don’t bend a stick when it is fresh, you can’t do it when it is dry. It is now or never.