When you need to match the brakes on gossips

Everywhere we go, schools, markets, offices, worship centres, wherever and whenever people congregate, there is always a potential for gossip. Technology has aided its rapid spread because with just the click of a computer mouse or a cell phone button, one message can be sent across the world to millions of willing individuals.

Gossip usually begins when people want to know and understand what is happening in their environment. It can start with two people trying to figure out why something happened or why someone is behaving in a certain way. They make their own inputs to embellish the story, while someone else repeats it as fact.
They can be especially malicious when the person who started them has something against you. Unfortunately, you can’t put a stop to nasty gossips just by telling one person it isn’t true. What are your thoughts about gossiping and how when should we step on the brakes?
Julius Okonkwo, a secretary, says over time he realised that gossip is unhealthy and is not a good trait anyone should possess. “The moment you like talking about other people’s issues to me, I will stay away from you because it shows that you will do the same thing with me to others,” he stated, adding that: “There are times when one indirectly talks about others but the basis of your talk should not be judgmental or perceived to be out of wanting to ridicule the person.”
Citing one instance, Okonkwo said: “I remember a colleague of mine who always liked discussing, or rather gossiping about the affairs of our bosses. Most times, they were issues that were very personal that you wonder how she got to know about them. When I noticed how persistent she became with gossips, I had to politely tell her off because I don’t associate with people, who gossip, especially about my superiors.”
Mrs Mariam Mohammed, in her late 20s, believes that some people want to intentionally talk about others. “Some see it as normal, such that when you are around them they can’t talk about anything serious except it is about other people. Such people tend to have inferiority complex or they are just jealous,” she said.
“What is your business with what happens to Mr. A? If there is one thing my husband has always warned me against, it’s gossiping. He tells me that he won’t take it lightly with me if he discovers that I gossiped about someone. Secondly, if you gossip as a lady it doesn’t speak well of you as it would make people lose their trust and loyalty in you,” Mariam noted.
Ebele Chidubem, an administrator, however takes it from another perspective. “Let’s be sincere with one another; we have all at one point or the other spoken about someone. But I think what matters is if what we are saying is not detrimental to the person we are talking about,” he noted.
“I remember when I said something about a friend and he found out from another friend, but the good thing is I had already told him about his wrong, and he reaffirmed it to him in a constructive and mature way, so he didn’t pick offence at all,” Chidubem narrated. “But if it’s a situation where what you are saying is not true and it could ruin the image of that person, then there is a problem.”
He advised that: “It is best to mind our business on certain issues that do not concern us or better still, if we are in a position to approach the person, you can meet the person and talk to him or her about it rather than back-biting. That is the highest degree of cowardice.”
Giving tips on how to halt gossips, especially when it is about you, Lipika Bhattachara in an article titled: ‘10 things to Do if Someone’s Spreading Malicious rumours about You,’ states that: “Gossips/rumours come and go. But if you lose your temper and show your anger to the people they will remember it for the rest of their lives.”
Bhattachara adds that: “Think of them as temporary means to irk and intimidate you. If you get this thing straight and clear you will be least affected by their being. It will not bother if they do exist or not.”