Can you steal from your spouse?

When married, it is believed that everything belongs to both partners. Is it so when it comes to money? 

Is taking money from your spouse’s wallet/pocket without his knowledge to maintain the home regarded as stealing? Especially if the money he gives for housekeeping is barely enough?

Halima Tanko, 40-year-old housewife, says, “If we take their money without telling them how will that make us better wives? Even if we see money in their laundry, it is only right that we tell them, that is the only way that trust can be built in a relationship. Most times these men, put the money there deliberately to test us (wives), even if they overlook sometimes they still know and I don’t think it is sending the right signals. Maybe one day, he might say something about the character. Trust is very important, especially in finances. Taking what doesn’t belong to you without the person’s knowledge to me is stealing. Instead if it’s a pressing need and you have to take, please tell him. That way trust is earned.”

Binta Mayaki, 39-year-old teacher, says, “Whatever way we decide to put it, it is still considered as stealing. Stealing is taking someone else’s belonging or property without permission. Let’s put ourselves in their shoes, if we had something of ours taken without our permission, would we find it funny? I know most women do it and conclude that it’s their husbands’ money, so it doesn’t matter. But have we considered the effect it would have on the children? We need to be careful so that none of our kids see us doing it hence they see it as normal and imitate us.”

Adaora Francis, 37-year-old chemist, says “If my husband likes let him give me everything, that extra cash I find automatically becomes mine. It’s stealing but not bad stealing especially if you later let him know that you found the money but it has automatically become yours. But on a second thought, how can taking your husband’s money be termed stealing? Aren’t we supposed to be one? Well, it depends on the kind of marriage most people are into. If there is friendship between both partners, he will understand that whatever that must have caused you to take the money was for a good course. My marriage doesn’t lack spontaneity, so taking money from his wallet is allowed. The bottom line is to always let them know you took the money.”

The men also gave their opinion on this topic. Hamid Umar, 43-year-old civil servant, says, “A wife taking her husband’s money is her right, since the money is used for the upkeep of the home. Some men are just wicked; I am a man and know what some men can do. You see God does His things in miraculous ways, a good man who gives his wife everything will never forget money in his clothes. But a bad husband will always forget. Some women are lucky with their husbands while some are not.”