Should couples be friends on social media?

In a society moved by online interactions, the social media has quickly become a personal diary for many but what we don’t hear much about is whether or not it’s a good idea to be friends with one’s spouse on social networks. So Lifextra went asking: should couples be friends on social media?

Damilola Jonathan Oladeji, a student and content provider, told LifeXtra “I think it’s okay but most times families don’t clique much online from what I have observed. Therefore, what’s the point of being friends if you would not respond to anything your family member shares, it ends up being a place to just monitor each other and that could be toxic.”

Michael Anan Onimisi, a Kaduna-based writer and poet, said, “Yes because it builds trust and transparency.” He added, “I will also suggest they have access to each other’s account.”

Also speaking to LifeXtra, Sa’ad Maikudi Al-Mustapha, a banker, added, “Only if they are not sincere to themselves otherwise I don’t see anything wrong in being friends on social media but if they are not okay with themselves then there is no point being there for the sake of marriage.”

David Odiase, who resides in Lagos, opined that it goes a long way in telling how much these couples share with each other. “Social media is an avenue to meet and interact with a lot of people. There have been many cases of either a wife or husband uncovering an unfaithful spouse’s messages and nude pictures. This goes to show that social media interaction is a critical control point in determining how much a couple is willing to share with each other.”

“While some people prefer a bit of privacy even from their spouse on social media, I think they should be friends but the association can be restricted if need be by various post privacy settings and the likes. After all, everyone comes to a point where some things or relationships are rather kept to one’s self,” he concluded.

However Adewoye O. Johnson, who had a contrary view, stated, “There is virtually no amount of trust you can have in your spouse.” Citing a personal experience, he said, “I blocked my woman when the monitoring was too disturbing, if a lady likes my picture, it is a problem at home. So I blocked her.”

Obabire Calvin Gideon, who responded affirmatively, said, “It enhances trust in the relationship in the sense that the couples don’t need to start building up negative thoughts. It also reveals your marital status and it’s always good to tag her/him because there are many boys and girls online looking for people to date or marry especially if you possess all the attributes they want. But the moment they see your marital status and also how happy you both are via pictures or videos, they tend to steer clear.”

Response to Obabire’s view, Muhammad Bello Sada, a lecturer, said, “It also makes it easy for a girl/guy who is interested in you to target your spouse and generate conflict between you.”

Making her points clearer, Obabire explained, “That is where communication comes in and it’s really important. Once there is trust and communication, nobody can generate conflict between you. A great mentor of mine once asked, “How do you cope with your husband and his career because he is a relationship coach and most times, he deals with ladies? Won’t he one day be tempted to sleep with one of his client?”

She replied “I will rather have a slice of a great man than the whole of a common man.”  And her reason for that response was because she knew her husband better than anyone else. There is always a communication going on between them and also there is trust.”