When women pull themselves down

The growing trend of women shading themselves at the slightest opportunity they have is taking an alarming toll. It seems women take pride in name-calling or shading other women, as the ‘pull-her-down’ syndrome (PHD) is eating deep into the relationships women have with one another. Why do women always see themselves as competitors? Womanhood seeks to find out. 

Bisi Bakare, 40-year-old accountant, says, “It’s still baffling why women name-call or shame other women. I’ve never seen men shaming themselves even if they’re competing for a woman. Men always protect their pride and that of other men. They stand for each other but it’s the other way round for women. As long as they aren’t benefiting from you, they resort to tarnishing your image one way or the other.”

Fateemah Azeez, 39-year-old teacher, says, “I am still baffled that women go about slamming and shading one another on social media and even physically. And, to think that it’s the same set of women that clamour for gender equality. What happened to standing up for your sister’s rights? I think it all boils down to being judgmental of others. If we understand that we all have different traits and characters and we can’t all be the same in thoughts and otherwise, things will be better for us as women. We need to learn to understand people they way they are. I don’t shame people because I hate being judged so I don’t judge.”

Jamila Bello, 45-year-old civil servant, says, “I think the basic reason why women name-call others is because of envy and jealousy. We forget that if we don’t support each other, there is no way we can move forward as the female gender and that is why we are still suffering in the political clime in Nigeria. The earlier we realize that we need each other for a better future for ourselves as women the better for us. I don’t need to know you personally as a woman to be able to support you for a good cause.”

Rukayat Mahmud, 39-year-old doctor, says, “ It’s a known fact that when some people don’t meet up to your standard they try to tarnish your character and personality by calling you names and this is prominent with women. Women naturally beef each other and I don’t know why. Envy and jealousy are attributes associated with women. Only few don’t have this attribute. I would have said it’s our nature but that would be unfair because I know not all women are like that. A lot of women are plagued by inferiority complex, so they will always try to shame and bring you down which makes them feel superior in their weak mind. Like I said earlier, envy and jealousy is a major issue. They like what you have or wish they could have the courage to do what you do. But because they can’t, they resort to shaming you. The best thing if for whoever that is being shamed to prove her worth by doing the best she can in whatever field she finds herself to prove to others that women are worth celebrating and supporting.”