In the 90s, one of our late friends used to collect those bread labels that were slid into loaves. Children often used them as play naira because they were the right size and, if you didn’t look closely, had a similar texture. This friend kept a stash of these labels in his car, and whenever the police flagged him down, he’d grab a fistful, fold them into his palm, and pretend it was cash. He’d then pass it to the eager officers, who more often than not, would pocket the “money” without checking and wave him off.
Another friend had a different tactic—he kept meat pies in his car. If you stopped him, he’d hand you a meat pie instead of cash. A copper with his mouth full of food can barely ask to see the particulars of your car, or whatever the reason was you’d been flagged down for.
My friends would rather not have their time wasted by cops who “only wanted money.” They were luckier than the man who was allegedly recently driven by the police to different ATM locations and made to withdraw a huge sum of money before he was let go. I can’t remember what he was supposed to have done.
These cops aren’t just a menace on the streets. A controlling ex-husband who hadn’t been in his child’s life since she was born used the police to illegally strip the 7-year-old from her mother. He had the money to buy the cops. Last week, a randy, conscienceless landlord in Lagos used the police to illegally evict a single mother and lock her and her teenage children (11 and 15) up for three weeks because the woman refused to have a sexual relationship with him.
- I inherited 70% idle young population –Zamfara Gov
- Suswan, Edeh pledge solar electricity for Benue varsity
When they aren’t collecting bribes or being used as bullies, it’d appear Naija police lend themselves out as domestic workers. Was it last year a clip of a policeman “at work” carrying his boss’s food at a party surfaced? A woman I know who’s married to a 419er has her police guard standing beside her while she gets her hair done in a salon.
And then when you go to the station to report anything? From anecdotal evidence, you’re asked to pay for a pen for taking down your statement, for fuel to drive to whichever location you need them at, for water to quench their thirst. Tufiakwa!
I know all the arguments: they are not paid well, they need to make money somehow, country too hard, etc. These are valid arguments, but there are many poor people with integrity. We hear their stories all the time: returning funds forgotten in cars; doing whatever job they are lucky to have without asking for bribes to perform the most basic task; and not allowing themselves to be so debased that anyone with money can buy them off.
So, it’s not just about poverty or poor salaries; it’s about a system that enables and normalizes corruption. And we—normal citizens—contribute to it by being eager to bribe our way out of everything. Before the traffic police have even asked for your car particulars, your hand is out the window with money. However, it is worse when those tasked with upholding the law become the biggest violators of it.
What’s saddest is how resigned we’ve become to this reality. We shake our heads at the audacity of asking someone who’s come to report a crime to pay them to do their job, share the horror stories of those shot by the police for refusing to bribe them, tell these stories as though they are harmless folklore, and move on. Yet the consequences are anything but trivial. And we are witnesses to them.
Our police institution needs serious reform. Better training for officers is essential, but that alone won’t fix a system that’s terribly broken. We need a system that rewards integrity and punishes misconduct: A system in which police officers are fairly paid and adequately equipped; a system, in short, that encourages accountability and a culture shift.
And as for us citizens? Let’s try to resist the urge to bribe our way out of issues. When we are in countries where bribery isn’t as widespread (or arguably endemic), we behave ourselves. Let’s do that in Naija too. It’s time to end this nyamanyama behaviour and demand a police force that respects both itself and us, the citizens it serves.
Join Daily Trust WhatsApp Community For Quick Access To News and Happenings Around You.
