Mai dalilin aure, which literally means the act of matchmaking, is an age-long practice in Hausa land. This practice occurs when two or more people are matchmade for the purpose of marriage.
The act of matchmaking started as a temporary measure by some individuals to ease many hurdles involved in the processes of marriage, among other issues related to finding a partner.
Weekend Trust, however, learnt that the practice has been transformed into a business venture as it is now a means of earning a living. To make it more attractive, operators have introduced modern techniques via the use of various internet platforms, especially the social media, for global appeal.
One of the numerous matchmakers in Kano State, Aminu Hangama, said initially, they were only patronised by people who suffered heartbreak or disappointment in relationships, but overtime, many other people began to explore the chances provided by the venture.
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“At the initial stage, our clients were people who suffered one form of heartbreak or another. They would come to us with specifications and we would set out to find such specifications for them. However, that has changed because people now come to us with pictures of their children, either male or female and deposit them with us.
“We use the pictures to strike a possible relationship that would lead to marriage. At the initial stage, we did this at no cost; however, we charged some consultation fees. Now, that has completely changed because not only parents of the intending partners patronise us, young males and females seeking partners, divorcees, widows and widowers, among other sets of people, have also become our clients,” he said.
He also said that in many instances, parents would bring their children’s pictures, especially the female ones for possible husbands without their consent.
It was learnt that the practice has metamorphosed into a serious business that enjoys huge patronage on a daily basis. And in Kano State, there are hundreds of such established entities. Some of them are founded and managed by men while many others are founded and managed by women. While many people view the setting as informal, many others are of the view that matchmaking is a formal establishment that has grown overtime.
Our correspondent reports that many weddings are conducted every week in the state, courtesy of the efforts of match-makers, as the venture has gradually become more recognised and accepted by the public.
The evolution
Another operator in the matchmaking business, Adamu Haladawa said, “Initially, people did not want to be associated with match-makers; in fact, they usually hid it, even when they were beneficiaries of the setting; but today, everyone seems to be at ease with it because the institution has stood the test of time. A lot of couples are products of the matchmaking institution.”
Haladawa said he had been in the business for over three decades, explaining that it requires a lot of confidentiality, especially for intending couples that are older. He further revealed that the act of matchmaking was initially introduced by elderly women who moved around with their grandchildren’s pictures in search of possible suitors. He said these respected older women would secretly broker marital ties with interested partners, especially secluded young women whose characters were found worthy, adding that in most cases, the processes were usually conducted without the consent of the young women.
The advent of technology led to the introduction of matchmaking sites. To this end, there are internet sites like Halal Matchmaking, Muslim Matchmaking, among others that operate online. And the sites are currently enjoying a huge patronage from different classes of people.
According to Malam Rabi’u Ado, a proprietor of one of the leading matchmaking firms in Kano State, what they do at the initial stage is to place signposts with their address and contact numbers at strategic places within their catchment areas and anyone who is interested in finding a partner will either take the advertised number or trace them to the address.
He explained that interested individuals would be required to pay a registration fee of N2,000, after which the matchmaking process would commence until he or she finds a partner among thousands of other registered individuals.
He further said that with the aid of technology, they now have various social media handles where they advertise.
“We have created several social media handles through which we advertise what we do. However, we don’t display pictures as other matchmaking or dating sites. Anyone interested either calls us or comes to us in person. We already have a bunch of pictures of both males and females for them to make their choices. Then we will arrange for them to meet, and after that, we will keep track of their courtship till marriage. After a successful union, the couples would have to pay some kind of honorarium to us as gratification for the work accomplished,” he said.
Ado further revealed that he was introduced into the business eight years ago by his younger brother, saying he has successfully match-made over 250 partners that ended up in marriage. He said although he works as a civil servant, matchmaking business has been a major source of his income despite the fact that it has a lot of challenges.
“This venture may look as simple as anything, but it is not. Many have ventured into it and left due to challenges. No doubt, there are gains, as well as risks attached to it, but we believe we are doing justice to humanity, and as such, we are determined to continue with what we are doing. It gives us joy to see that people regard us as their mentors, especially with successful unions that have stood the test of time,” he said.
Another operator of an online matchmaking firm, Malama Binta Mahadi, said she was moved to create the site after her sister’s several failed attempts to get married. She said her first job was getting her elder sister to settle down as a married woman. After that, she felt that since she could do it for her sister, she could help others.
She said, “I am very active on social media and my elder sister had been having a series of failed planned marriages, so I created a simple site with secrecy facilities. It was a site that didn’t contain pictures but detailed individual information. I started with my sister and succeeded in getting her a partner. That was how I started the site. As we speak, I have over 2,000 subscribers. I never knew that it would turn out to be a mouthwatering venture for me. I am happy that I have been an instrument used to put smile on people’s faces.”
Challenges
Speaking on the challenges of the matchmaking business, Rabi’u Ado said, “I spent days in police custody and had to sell one of my houses to pay for something I knew nothing about, but for being a link.”
Ado explained that he had succeeded in matchmaking two individuals from Niger Republic, not knowing that the man was a cheat. During courtship, the man duped the woman of millions of naira, and for being the link (match-maker), the woman filed a case against him and he spent days in police custody before finally selling his house to pay back the woman.
“There are lots of risks and challenges in this business. I will never forget what happened when I facilitated a union between two individuals from Niger Republic. Unfortunately, the man cheated the woman. Despite the fact that doing business wasn’t part of our agreement, the woman went ahead to venture into some business dealings with the man, and at the end, he ran away with her money. She took the case to the police and I was arrested for being a link to the man; at the end, I had to sell my house to pay the woman. There are several cases worse than this that people like us have gotten into, but we won’t relent, we will continue to do what we do,” he said.
For Malam Binta Mahadi, one of the challenges of the business is the belief that online matchmaking sites are aiding promiscuity among individuals, especially the youth. She, however, said that one may not be able separate what they do with what people insinuate because of its dynamic nature, but insisted that people usually judge them wrongly.
“We try our best to conceal our clients’ identities in terms of their pictures and other credentials, yet many people look at us as people who promote promiscuity. What people do not know is that we only link those who develop interest in each other; and we have no control over what happens afterwards.
“Our site has been reported uncountable times, but we manage to remain afloat despite the attacks. We were once accused of supplying women to hotels,” she said.
Beneficiaries speak
A beneficiary of the matchmaking process, Aminu Isah, told our reporter that he was linked to his present wife in 2016, after his marriage failed. According to him, the incident that led to his failed marriage kept haunting him and he lost his self-esteem and as such could not approach any lady. He further stated that he was introduced to one of the matchmaking firms in Kano, where he was shown several pictures including that of his ex-wife, and he made his choice.
“After paying my registration fees, I was shown several pictures and ironically, I saw my ex-wife’s picture as well. I made my choice, the match-maker called her and arranged for a meeting. I was given the address and I went there alone. The chemistry was so powerful and she understood me the same way I did her and in 2017 we got married. The marriage is blessed with two children, and we are living happily. Throughout our courtship, the matchmaking firm was monitoring things,” he said.
A female beneficiary who gave her name as Malama Ussaina said, she never knew that her mother had taken her picture to the match-makers. According to her, when her younger sister got married, her mother became so worried that Ussaina was still at home after completing her A-level studies. She revealed that she started getting visitors regularly without knowing how and where she met them. She added that it was after she got married to her husband that she got to know that her mother took her picture for matchmaking.
“It was after my first child that my mother told me how I got married. My husband did not want me to know that because he loves me very much. When I confronted him, he confessed to seeing my picture at the matchmaking firm where he went in search of a wife. I thought I would be angry with my mother, but I was proud of her for going the extra mile to get me a husband like the one I have. We have been married for five years now,” she said.
Islamic perspective on matchmaking
Speaking on the Islamic perspective of the practice, the chief imam of Millati Ibrahim Friday Mosque in Kano, Sheikh Ali Dan Abba, said according to Islam, there is nothing wrong in matchmaking as long as the dictates of the religion are followed accordingly.
“The process doesn’t violate religious rules and regulations, in as much as the intent attached to the process is targeted at legal consummation of marriage. We will advise that the operators fear Allah and be honest in what they do,” he said.
Success stories
Adamu Haladawa said he would never forget the incentive he got from someone whose marriage he facilitated through matchmaking. He recalled that he was taken to Saudi Arabia to perform the lesser Hajj (Umrah) as an incentive for a job well done, saying he did not expect the gesture. “I will live with that experience for the rest of my life,” he said.
For Rabi’u Ado, his greatest success was when he facilitated a marriage between two individuals living outside Nigeria, adding that many other unions he match-made are currently happily married.
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