Hard times

It is hard times out there. But hard times are a part of life. How you react to hard times will determine how you get through them.

Not every complaint can be traced to a source somewhere in Aso Rock or the smaller rocks in the 36 capital cities of the country—but it is just difficult to fathom a worse economic situation than the infamous reign of terror called Buhariyya. There are things one only hears about as legends and whispers in the dizzying highs of a good teburin-maishayi session, but now you can actually see those whispers in the flesh.

The abject profusion of men and women asking for alms is frightening. In the past, it was usual to dismiss these people for being deadbeat bottom feeders, but now it seems we all share a certain silent fellowship with people who ask you for a few nairas to feed his hungry children.

 These hard times aren’t just about  financial setbacks even though it is… it also appears that this is a season of health challenges, job loss, relationship breakups—the usual suspects.

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Yes, you can’t control when or how hard times will impact you but you can certainly control how these challenging times will affect how you feel and how you will overcome them.

Unlike most times, unlike the onslaught of Buhariyya, these difficult times today, they make you feel like you are trapped and can’t escape.

But, “fa’inna ma’al usri yusraa”—indeed, after every hardship comes ease.

It is tough times out there! But even if you don’t see a positive outcome, you will be more capable as a result of the experience. To every action is an equal and opposite reaction—I mean, there is an urban legend about the Jagaba never leaving a subject or supplicant empty-handed. And, more often than not, even without a helmsman called Jagaba, you can create several positives from an apparently negative situation.

So, what can we learn from this post-Buharic Buhariyya? Where is the silver lining?

Start by trying to see the positive

Sometimes glass-half-full people – I include myself in the group – can be a little irritating. But in all situations we face, there is definitely some kind of positive that you can find. If you are in the depths of despair about this situation – I understand that this will be the last thing that you want to think about. If what they say about fuel subsidies is true, we have better days already on the horizon.

What are three good things that could come from the Jagaba situation? This question may seem impossible to answer at first – but if you can endure Jagaba, you can endure three hypothetical positives from a half-full person.

Get “half-empty”

Ask yourself truthfully – what’s the worst that can happen? Sometimes when we’re in a tough spot our imaginations run wild – but is what you’re worried about realistic? Often it’s not. So for a moment, capture down your worst fears and worries and consider how likely these things are to happen. Not all of them will come to pass, so ask yourself what you would do if the ones that could realistically happen come to pass?

1.   Remember how 20/20 hindsight can be

While acknowledging that the time is tough, I also often say to myself that I am never going to let myself get into that situation again. This is valuable learning – it makes you more aware, better prepared, and more likely to spot and head off similar problems.

Of course there will be times when I slip up, and find myself in the exact same situation! But when I think back, there was almost always a set of circumstances that meant my attention had been drawn in another direction – or indeed meant that I was unable to pre-empt what happened. So yes you learn, but it’s important to remember that sometimes tough things do just happen, and that it’s not your fault.

2.   Don’t be an ostrich

It’s never a good idea to stick your head in the sand and ignore the problem. That makes you very vulnerable. If you know something is going wrong, it’s usually a good idea to let people know fast and gather the support you need to solve the problem. Keep your head up and focus on solutions you can try out.

Try not to let the toughness overwhelm you. Is it ever a good idea to be an ostrich? Sometimes it can be useful to take a short break – watch a movie, go out with friends – so that you recharge your batteries, regain your resilience – and then tackle the challenge more effectively.

3.   Gain self-awareness

Tough times will teach you a lot about yourself. Pay attention to your own part in the problem. Review how you naturally behave, plan, react, think, and act. Notice this so that you can spot the early warning signs. That way, if there is a ‘next time’, you can correct your course.

4.   Don’t do it alone

Learning and surviving is not about being a martyr. Involve others. You will learn a lot about those around you, the kind of support they provide – and the best way to gain this support and insight. Seek new people and engage them in helping you as needed.

TAKEAWAY

The truth is that tough times do happen, and they’re rarely wholly your fault. Don’t put off dealing with them, don’t avoid them – do everything you can to learn from the experience and about yourself.

Often if you respond to a mistake or failure in a very positive way, people will think highly of you. And at the very least – the next time you’re interviewed you’ll have a great answer to the question “tell me about a time when you’ve had to turn around a tough situation”!