By Mahmud Nuhu Ribadu
Tuesday, August 27, 2024, will remain forever in our memories. It was the day we lost a strong pillar of our family and an extraordinary woman – my grandmother Hajiya Ummu Iya Abubakar (also affectionately called Hajiya Babba) at the age of 76. She was buried a few hours after her passing amidst tears and grief. Her death touched us so deeply that we were only able to find succour from the comfort of family, friends, and well-wishers. She was more than a grandmother to me; she was a woman from whom I found a lot of inspiration about the values of honesty and integrity and compassion. But Hajiya Ummu did not just impact my life alone; she illuminated the lives of everyone who had the privilege of knowing her, and so little wonder her death grieved an overwhelming number of people, from far and near.
Hajiya Babba got married to Professor Iya Abubakar, at the age of 16, shortly after completing her secondary school education at Girls Government School, Yola. The marriage was blessed with seven children, but the first child of the family passed away about 20 years ago, leaving behind 3 Children. The six left behind were all available to bid her farewell on all the days leading up to her death.
After getting married, Hajiya Ummu didn’t further her education or worked professionally. Although, this is usually equated to being a typical homely woman with the exclusive responsibility of upbringing children and managing the home front, Hajiya Babba did much more. She was one of the most shrewd teachers I knew. She was a professor in her own right – just like her erudite husband. Every hour spent with her discussing life was more than what a person would typically learn in a semester or year at a conventional school.
In so many ways, she lived a life of service to others. She graciously impacted so many lives positively in several decades of active social participation and indirect public service by supporting her husband, Senator (Prof) Iya Abubakar through his many roles and duties as an academic, politician and all-round public servant. They were together from Zaria, where he was Vice Chancellor of Ahmadu Bello Univerity, to Lagos when he transitioned into public service, as well as when he later ventured into politics in Adamawa and Abuja as a legislator.
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Whenever I think of Hajiya Ummu, what comes to mind are the countless moments of love, resilience, and grace she embodied. One of my fondest memories is from my graduation day at Aston University in 2016. Despite her old age, Hajiya Babba made the long journey from Nigeria to Birmingham, United Kingdom, to share in that moment of joy with me and the other family members. She sat through the entire ceremony, attentive and full of pride, and joining the crowd to clap and cheer when my name was called. Afterward, she enthusiastically walked nearly five kilometers with us to a family buffet, which she cherished as much as the ceremony itself.
That day wasn’t just special for me: it demonstrated one of the things Hajiya Ummu lived for: family. Those who have known the family for some years know how fond we are of our grandmother and how close-knit the entire extended family is. This is because of her sense of warmth, concern and genuine love for all. She was not just my mother’s mother but she took the responsibility of being an additional mother to me and her other grandchildren. She was a matriarch in the truest sense of the word, who passionately nurtured and guided us with an enormity of wisdom. She taught us to be responsible and to be upright. She taught us to value and respect others. She taught us to be truly humane. There’s hardly a fond aspect of my childhood where her remarkable presence was absent.
One of the most grift-streaking persons after her passing is our elderly aunt, Deborah Zakari from Hong LGA in Adamawa state. They were best friends, bonded together from the moment their paths crossed in JSS 1 at Girls Government School, Yola, and they remained together up till her last moment. Aunty Deborah, as we fondly call her, was optimistic up till the end, that Babba was going to be okay and pull through amidst the pain she was shouldering and holding back as was evident up till her Death. During the week after Hajia Ummu’s passing, Aunty Deborah never missed a chance to sing praises and tell stories of a life well-lived to everybody that cared to hear.
Hajiya Ummu hated laziness and had no space for dull moments or lies. She was a person favoured by God and she took that gratefully by contributing in all fields of endeavor. In her latter years, she was not one to be seen in public places or found in places of pure amusement, however, she never missed an opportunity to show concern and love. Leaving the house meant visiting either a sick family member, friend or relative, or visiting others in times of joy such as birth of a child or condolences during a loss of a loved one. All my memories of her are about taking advantage of every opportunity to be kind and to bring joy to others. A typical day for her was waking up at dawn to perform Fajr prayers and spending hours praying to her creator. The rest of the days were usually spent with her husband, Professor Iya Abubakar and other visitors to the family home.
Since her illness began last year, she exhibited utter patience and strength, although the time was the most challenging due to the sickness. Now, looking back, it was also one of the most beautiful moments. We, the immediate family members, are all in agreement that an end like that only comes to the lucky. Over the past one year, we, the grandchildren got to really understand how to live a life of impact due to the concern and well wishes that thronged to the house from far and wide to wish her speedy recovery.
Of the countless lessons I learnt from hearing and observing my late grandmother, the one thing I think that will stick for life was the uncommon ability to be utterly generous to people in need and equally not be wasteful, while still maintaining a very comfortable life. She was conservative with her food, money and everything else. She made things last a long time. She was the ultimate recycler. She never threw away anything and found ways to re-purpose things. At the same time, she was also the most generous of people. My mother often said, “Hajiya Babba doesn’t have money because she doesn’t know how to keep it, and because she shares it with the people in need.” How she managed to do all she was doing almost perfectly, I really can’t say. But I thank God for the ability to have learnt by closely observing her generosity till the very end.
Hajiya Babba left behind her husband, Professor Iya Abubakar, her six biological children and many relatives, adopted children, sisters, brothers, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, sons- and daughters-in-law, nephews, nieces, and many other relatives. It is important to note that every one of them including the in-laws had something special to say about this incredible woman.
Since Hajiya Babba’s demise, I have been scrolling through my phone’s gallery to find photos of memories I might have forgotten but must now recall. And, It is incredible how the moments I found captured exactly her persona – always smiling.
Tributes are usually difficult to write because people often do not know where and how to begin talking about the departerd. However my one-in-a-million grandma, the late Hajiya Babba was special and the epitome of love and goodness. And the loss of her is felt deeply by many, even though she lived a full life.
We all miss you, but your memories live on in each of us and the lives you touched with the love, strength, wisdom, and beauty of your soul. You taught us a whole lot about love, generosity, sacrifice, and the meaning of family and service to humanity. We thank Almighty Allah for your life, your love, and your enduring spirit. May Allah grant you Jannatul Firdaus and may your soul rest in eternal peace.
Hajiya Ummu Iya Abubakar will be sorely missed, but never forgotten.
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