Love or good cook: Which supersedes in marriage?

If you are fan of the sitcom ‘Jenifa’s Diary’, you will know by now that Kiki, Jenifa’s friend, doesn’t know how to cook, which is Kiki’s biggest challenge in marriage – a challenge Jenifa almost lost a tooth for. Another interesting scenario is singer Davido and his lover Chioma. Many have said that her cooking skill was what earned her assurances from Davido.

 Again, a question concerning food came up at a marriage ceremony, where the groom was asked, ‘If your wife didn’t know how to cook, would you still marry her out of pure love?’ and he said no, to everyone’s amazement. 

How important is the cooking skills of a lady? Womanhood speaks to a number of men and a few women. 

Nwobodo Clement, 39-year-old accountant, says, “There are so many disadvantages of getting married to someone who doesn’t know how to cook. I will not marry till she knows how to cook at least three to four different meals. I can cook and believe every woman should too. If I love her dearly, I believe I can accommodate her as my wife but she must be ready and willing to learn how to cook. There will be no room for cooks or chefs cooking my meals in my home, when I have a wife.”

Patrick Daniels, 36-year-old engineer, says, “Yes, I can marry a woman that doesn’t know how to cook. We are in an evolving world, where resources and knowledge are readily available with the push of a button. So, yes I can marry for love. Food is secondary when it comes to love. What I can’t tolerate though is disloyalty.” 

Oyediran Seun, 40-year-old medical doctor, says, “Love doesn’t sustain marriage. Its only friendship that keeps marriage going, I’ll definitely marry her and enroll her in any good culinary school. Hopefully within a few months she would have learned the basics of cooking and willing to go try new things on her won. I love food but will sacrifice for love.”

Ijeoma Nweke, 39-year- old banker, says, “It’s possible to love a woman that doesn’t know how to cook. I am a living example. After my marriage, anytime I cook my hubby will be surprised. So one day he opened up and said he didn’t know I could cook since he never saw food those times he visited me back in school. When I asked him why he married me if he thought I didn’t know how to cook, he said he loved and still loves me, whether I can cook or not.”

Taiwo Adeosun, 39-year-old lawyer, says, “It’s a ‘no, no’ for me, if you cannot cook as a woman then what makes you a woman? Good food unites family. I beg to differ….I won’t! I don’t want to have reasons to compare her to other people’s wives in the future. Love is not enough to sustain a relationship.”

His friend disagrees though. Abdullahi Musa, 39-year-old lawyer, says, “Man shall not live by food alone. So knowing how to cook good food does not qualify a woman for marriage. If the only thing she knows how to do is cooking, then nothing for her. If she can’t cook,I will do the cooking which I am good at. I am sure she is good at other things I am not good at. We are meant to complement each other. So she being a good cook doesn’t guarantee her a marriage proposal from my end.”