Respect begets respect

Arrogance is believed to be one of the major problems faced in most relationships, especially marriage. In our society, outspoken women are mostly considered not good enough as ‘wife material’.  Womanhood seeks to find out if most of these women, who have been labeled as arrogant, simply want respect or appreciation from their partners or it’s a clear case of arrogance. 

“Most times my husband speaks to me without respect. He embarrasses me in public any time we are out for a public function. He has done this to the extent that most times people don’t believe it when they are told I’m his wife. One day, I decided to respond because I couldn’t take it anymore and today his family has tagged me as being arrogant and disrespectful. I deserve respect as his wife but he never gives that to me.” 

Rabi Saidu, 39-year-old lawyer, says “There is a popular cliché that respect begets respect. Everyone deserves respect because respect reciprocates. As partners, respect plays a major role in a relationship. If one partner isn’t respecting the other, tempers can flare and that wouldn’t be a good situation for the relationship. A partner that talks rudely to his/her partner has a lot to learn about being respectful.”

Amina Ahmed, 40-year-old consultant, says “It’s such an awful thing for a husband or even wife to address or speak to his/her spouse in a very disrespectful manner in the public or even at home, especially when the children are present. When it gets to a point where either of the partners can’t take the lack of respect anymore and they get a negative response, then it shows a case of bullying in the relationship. Women are believed to be arrogant because when they snap, they can say awful things which they have bottled up for too long. The society should encourage both husband and wife to respect each other. 

Ebere Chukwu, 39-year-old accountant, says “A woman that has the audacity to talk back at her husband, no matter what he must have done to her, is considered a very disrespectful wife. Our elders have always advised a woman to remain calm not matter the utterances of the man, they are our elders and they have a reason why they recommend such from the woman. The average African man has an ego of superiority. Any negative or arrogant response from a woman to her man can anger the man and if he doesn’t have self-control a whole lot of damage can happen. A Proverb says “soft answer turns away wrath”. Women should learn to respect their husbands in all situations. 

Temitope John, 41-year-old public servant, says, “The truth is that most women can run their mouth so much for their husbands even when it’s not necessary. Some women have a natural flair for nagging. Yes, it is true that some men can be very disrespectful to their wives but it really doesn’t help the situation if the wife also decides to show disrespect by responding to him a negative way. In African culture, women are believed to show respect to their husbands, when she sees tempers are about to go beyond normal, she has the power to douse it by simply apologizing and walking away. On the other hand, as mothers, the onus is on us to change the mindset of our sons that respect is reciprocal. I say this because most times the problem starts from the way a child is being brought up. An African boy believes he has more rights than his sister and so takes such belief to his matrimonial home. What they see or saw while growing up is what they tend to replicate in their homes in future. Teach them that respect begets respect.”