When love grows cold

There may be times when a relationship suddenly turns cold and the next decision would be to call it quits with our partners. Sometimes, it could even be our friend, a close relative or acquaintance who come up with lame excuses like “I don’t think I can stand this long distance friendship”, “I can’t wait for you to get done with school” and so on. Ordinarily, things that shouldn’t be a problem or are rather inconsequential end up making a once blissful relationship become sour.

However, when it comes to ending any relationship, most people do not know how to go about it. It’s either they do it in a harsh manner which causes a fight, or the person who wants to end it does so in a cunning manner without letting the other person know. With this in mind, Lifextra sought to know how people would end a relationship when it turns sour.

Amaoge Mercy Omenye, an education consultant, opines that if a relationship between a man and a woman is already sour, it is likely that both parties should know that the end is near and expect it. “These days, the relationship is usually sour on one side. Either the guy is fed up but the girl is still hopelessly in love or the girl is fed up but the guy is totally clueless so that the break up conversation now comes as a shock. I would suggest two ways. If you are looking to end a relationship, please take your time to decipher which scenario applies to you,” she said.

She suggests that if both parties are tired, then a mature conversation leading to an amicable parting would be best. “No need to hurl insults at anybody. Respect each other’s privacy. The fact that you are no longer together doesn’t mean you should tell everyone all the things you didn’t like about your ex.”

“Instead of dumping the break-up conversation on them, you can ease into it gradually. A little distance (in the literal sense) might help. This might take weeks. Reduce displays of affection or endearing speeches. The other person is bound to notice that something is wrong and would want to know why. You can then explain to them or ask for some time off or away from the relationship. There’s no way this wouldn’t hurt the other person. But it hurts less if you act like a human being instead of a monster. Be patient and gentle and always remember that the line between love and hate is very thin. Also remember that this world no matter how big can become really small for you tomorrow. It’s best not to trample on people’s affection,” she concluded.

Chidinma Offor, a student, said “I’ll call for a “talk”, then explain what I perceive isn’t working. Talk about the need to explore other possibilities since staying together isn’t working anymore.”

Glory Uche, a hairstylist, who agrees with Offor, said she would call the guy and give him conditions to make it work. She added “Because I believe we can still work something out, I’ll call him and have a heart-to-heart talk with him; and if he doesn’t agree then I’ll tell him that we should go our separate ways because we’re not meant for each other.”