Where did parents go wrong on sex education?

Last week, a video of a secondary school girl and a boy having sexual intercourse while a teacher was in class went viral. When I saw the video, I was disgusted that such an act could go on in broad day light. It goes to show how ignorant most teachers are of what happens in class (especially the back benchers) while they teach. 

This is not to blame teachers in any way but to blame and draw the attention of parents on how careless we have been in trying to give our children the ideal sex education they need, especially in their teenage years. Watching the video was disheartening to me as a mother. No mother wants to see her daughter or son fall prey to such acts of indecency. 

Lesbianism and homosexuality is a ‘cool’ norm with most teenagers. Where did parents go wrong on sex education? On watching the video, one question I kept asking myself was how best do we educate our children on sex education and peer pressure?

Amina Shuaibu, 41-year-old teacher, says “In my opinion, the mistake most parents, especially mothers, make is to believe that the best way to protect their daughter is by restricting them to only female friends. As a teacher, I have seen enough to believe that the more you restrict your children to a particular gender the more they are prone to being misguided. It’s funny how some mothers tell their daughters upon their first menstruation that once any man touches them, they automatically become pregnant, forgetting that they could also be victims of lesbianism. Sex education is very important and the way parents go about teaching it should be a priority to them. Teachers have little role to play in this, the parents have a major role to play in this instance.”

Adewole Davies, 39-year-old architect, says “Teaching sex education is not the problem; the problem is how it’s taught. Most parents teach sex education and shy away from explaining it to their children as it ought to be. I believe that when children come of age, especially in an era where we have social media, various media platforms, and pornography being freely sold everywhere and to everyone, teaching sex education in a no holds barred manner becomes necessary. Children these days learn faster than their age and are very curious. In some instances, these children ask various questions and most parents feel embarrassed to answer and just ignore the questions by changing the subject matter. As parents, such questions should instantly be a red flag alert. The subject shouldn’t be avoided but addressed in an age-appropriate way. Parents can help foster healthy feelings about sex and not friends and peer groups.”

Hajiya Ummi Ibrahim, 43-year-old doctor, says “I saw the said video and it was unfortunate because most parents don’t know what their children are involved in in school and among their peer groups. As a mother, I have learnt that when teens become very private, then there is a problem. If parents speak to their children early about sex, it increases the chance that teens will approach parents when difficult or funny things begin to happen between them and others. These days, teenagers and even girls of primary school age are forced to keep male friends and boyfriends as secrets, thereby practicing whatever they have read and seen on pornography sites and books. As parents, we need to have an open relationship with our children so that they can discuss anything and everything with us. When children tend to shy away from discussing things that concern our bodies with us, then we have lost the battle as we can be sure that someone else is teaching them practical things about sexual education. We need to stress that relationships are about respecting our bodies and protecting our dignity.”