Today, like the popular Nigerian maxim goes, na today. Yes, it’s pidgin English and therefore accessible to Nigerians mostly, as is this very column. After the past four years of a mixed bag of governance, citizens are quite eager to both kick out the current occupants of Aso Villa, as well as to crown the new ones to move in and attempt to govern us. It’s arguable that it’s a three-horse race with Alhaji Bola Ahmed Tinubu (APC), Alhaji Atiku Abubakar (PDP), and Mr. Peter Obi (LP), but many are of the opinion that Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso (NNPP) shouldn’t be discounted in a hurry. It’s also a fact that today’s polls will be the most unpredictable one in our lifetime, and all this is fine. What we should all do, is everything we can, to make the elections peaceful.
By today, many of us would have chosen their candidate, most times due to party affiliation, and other times because of personality. Whichever one it is, we have all collectively seen enough ‘shege’ (the new buzzword meaning ‘suffering’, taken from the Hausa word for ‘bastard’) to have chosen wisely. Ironically, the current currency-themed ‘shege’ we are all seeing might help a deviation from money politics. After all, you need money to practice money politics, right? But more humanely and practically, of what use is an election during which there’s a mad shortage of cash, all within a massively cash-based economy? Maybe we’ll look at that in the next column, as today’s is solely about the election.
Standing in line for anything can be frustrating, so we should all give ourselves pep talks on just how much ‘shege’ we have seen in the past four (nay, eight) years. That should sober anyone swiftly, and bring about a calm and orderly disposition at the foot of the ballot box. A book, a magazine, or preferably a newspaper (like the very one housing the column you’re reading) would be great company. Do not forget a bottle of water, because hydration is key. Even better, if you are in the company of family and/or friends, even if party loyalties differ. Avoid debates and arguments as much as you can, as they tend to escalate quickly to heights that are not needed or required on a day like today.
After voting, we will all go home and eat, shower, rest and await the results. While for some us the temptation may be there to do other things, think about just how much rest you haven’t had lately on account of being a Nigerian during the past election cycle. If NEPA hasn’t struck, watch TV, a movie, or just hang out with loved ones. Think of it as a much-needed holiday. And if you have travelled elsewhere to vote, it’s even more of a vacation. There’s no need to spoil that with ranting, arguments, or heated conversations. If anyone who has not read this column engages in loud and aggressive banter, simply step away. You’re civilized, after all.
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When it is all said and done, we know the drill by now: results always come in late-ish. Therefore, there is no need for any form of agitation or antagonism wherever you may be. Follow the process keenly, as NEPA would allow, yes, but with the disposition that it will be as unchangeable as the weather, or Zuma Rock facing the rain. When the winner is announced, be prepared for any possibility, because elections are an exercise in probability of many things, and with many variables. Your candidate won? Good for you. Your candidate did not? It’s not the end of the world. Just console yourself with the knowledge that the days of seeing ‘shege’ are possibly over.
Now if your candidate wins, do be sensitive enough not to rub it into the faces of others while celebrating. Some festivities spark hostilities, or even visits to the hospital, like when drivers display their stunt skills with reckless abandon. If you need inspiration to remain sober, simply remind yourself that you don’t have a single naira in your pocket. See how that works like magic? And in the final analysis, we are all brothers and sisters, and today of all days, we should remember that. If collectively seeing ‘shege’ has not united us, what will? That is exactly why we should – above all else – vote for peace today. May the right man win.
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