Does number of children affect quality of home?

Last week, the Emir of Kano suggested that any man who had no means of taking care of his children or wife had no business marrying another wife. Many have argued that he said this in good faith; probably to help fight the almajiri problem most northern states face today.

In another scenario, a man who wants to remain anonymous narrates his predicament. “My wife wants another child after 7 years of our last child. We have two children. I thought her quest for another child would pass but it seems to be getting stronger each passing day. I promised never to bring to the world a child I cannot take care of. I know it’s God that provides but on the other hand I know what my pocket can cater for. It is very expensive to raise and give children the best these days. On a serious note, I hope and pray a mistake does not happen as women can be very tricky when it comes to having their way.”

Abiola Bello, 38-year-old entrepreneur, says “Life is about choices as you cannot eat your cake and have it. If the wife insists on having another child then I suggest he cuts down on all luxuries and go for another child. If not, she should be content with two kids and continue to give them the best. Everyone likes the good life but it is all about being wise and planning well. I would suggest she co-operates with her husband when it comes to issues of raising children. Times have changed and we as parents can’t afford to have children we can’t give the basic necessities of life.”

Ada Eze, 42-year-old lawyer, advises that we don’t create unnecessary problems in our lives and those of the children we hope to bring forth. “Let’s not use our hands to create unnecessary problems. I recall an instance where a woman was adamant when she was advised against giving birth to more children. She gave birth to quadruplets and the husband took off because he could not afford to pay the hospital bills not to talk of providing for the new born babies. The news was all over the media. We see and hear this kind of stories everyday but somehow women keep falling into the craze of wanting to have more children than they can carter for. As a lawyer, I have seen cases of men who come to court asking the judge to order their wives not to attempt having another child. But you know when ignorance and stubbornness go hand-in-hand, some still went ahead and the husbands had no choice but to ignore/abandon them. At the end, the wives still run back to the court asking they should be ordered to take responsibility of the child.”

Ibrahim Baba, 40-year-old engineer, says “The man simply wants to give his family the best that life has to offer by having a small family. Would any wife rather have more kids and lose all the privileges that come with having a small family? In most instances and annoyingly too, the women do not contribute a dime to the upbringing of the children except identifying the best designer clothes for the children and the most expensive tourist sites to be visited by the family. Most of the ladies who refuse to heed such advises from their husbands are the ones who are quick to tell whoever cares to listen that their husbands have abandoned them and their babies.”

Huraira Kassim, 39-year-old pharmacist, says “Raising a child is not easy, especially when you decide to do it well. But we (women) will not understand; all we say is that we will find a way about it. We wouldn’t realize what we have gotten ourselves into until the deed is done. The one who caters for you and your kids has explained why another child would be a burden. I think this man is a responsible one who wants the best for all of them considering and assuming that she does not drop a kobo. Quality of life for your kids is what matters not quantity. You can’t eat your cake and have it. By the way, is there anywhere children are being used as collateral?”