Amina Oyiza Yahaya Bello — My Hayat story

Educational Background 

I grew up in the village. I attended Idakatapa Primary School in Ohu-ogogo briefly before moving to Lagos, Ajegunle to be precise, where I finished my secondary education starting at St John’s Anglican School at yaga crescent OloduApapa and later Newland Secondary School in Tolu Complex, Apapa. 

I later went to ObafemiAwolowo University Ile –Ife, Osun state where I studied Law and obtained my L.L.B and subsequently BL and then my MBA with the University of Leicester, London which is currently in view.

Looking at where you today, can you take us back to some memorable instances 

The memorable ones would be taking my bath once in a week because there was no portable water back then in the village. So, as young maidens and children then, we would wake up as early as 3am go to the stream in search of water. On our way to the stream we would pass various farms, stop along the way to pluck fruits and also sing songs. Back then it was believed that singing songs would scare off wild animals and also notify hunters that children were approaching so that they don’t mistake us for something else. While at the stream we washed our clothes, our mums and grandmas, while waiting for them to get dried after spreading them on grasses or rocks, we would take our baths and fetch water in our basins and get extras in kegs. These extras we gave to grandmas who didn’t have anyone to help them. At times when we were descending the hills, some would slip and fall. I remember when that happened with me and I cried all the way back home. The rest of the group volunteered to scoop some of their water for me when we got home so that eased my worry.

Growing up was fun; just like every other child in the mountains, going to fetch water and going to the farm to fetch firewood. It was really fun. Though looking back now, one might say it was hectic, but back then it was just fun being a child and running all over the place.  I also remember working with a clearing agency whenever the university was on break or strike. I was always busy and never broke. I once washed dishes at Tin-can Island to enable me buy some text books I needed for school.

Career background?

I am a lawyer by profession and I am also an entrepreneur. I practiced briefly and resigned to work in a family business. The business comprised of hospitality, transportation and real estate. I am a wife, mum, lawyer, entrepreneur and humanitarian. 

What were your aspirations growing up?

I have always aspired for greatness but I have always been a very content and grateful person. I never expected I would come this far. For instance, I just wanted to go to school. I didn’t know why. In my village for instance, I happen to be the first female lawyer. In my neighbourhood in Lagos, I was the first undergraduate. When people were thinking of stopping at their secondary school, for reasons I can’t explain I just wanted to go to school. That motivation has really kept me going and I never took challenges as a reason not to achieve my potential. My decision to go to school also inspired my peers to go back to school. But most importantly I have always been a very humble.

Tell us about your Hayat story

Hayat foundation came about as a result of my personal experience as a mother. I have a son and his name is HayatullahBello and I had him sometime in 2007. And like every parent during his development stages we expected some sort of growth and unfortunately we weren’t seeing that so of course the quest for solutions. So we travelled from one country to another and then eventually we got to America and we went to Kennedy Kreiger and John Hopkins where we found out her had cerebral palsy and of course basically that is how the whole journey started. While in America we found closure as a family because for a long time we asked why us and we realized that nothing was wrong with our son. Unfortunately, we happened to find ourselves in a society that has not come to terms with the existence of his kind and of course it wasn’t easy back here at home compared to what we experienced in America. But in the end it made us better people and personally it made me find my purpose here on earth when God blessed us with this position I couldn’t help but use my office to promote the cause of special people like him as well as the disabled community. It is bad enough to go through poverty but to be disabled and have the society stigmatize you it makes life not worth living. You may have known a family for years that have special child but for fear of stigma they keep the child away from the society. My foundation celebrates special kids, they are the hidden faces of the society and I am about celebrating them. 

What would you say have been your challenges?

My challenges would be, when I lost my dad. At that point I didn’t feel like going on anymore because my dad was my best friend and my support system. When he died my siblings were very young and I was in 200 level at the university, so I felt I needed to go back home to assist my mum. I considered stopping school so I could help my mum. Luckily, I had some friends in the university that really encouraged me to look inwards and I was able to pull myself together. I found a way to make a living within the school premises and that really helped me because along the line I started a business center. I started making commercial calls and selling recharge cards. Later, I also started selling fairly used clothes, electronics and rugs. I also started collecting artwork from artists which I sold to banks and other corporate organisations and before I knew it three of my siblings also joined me, I later left the hostel to get a place off campus. 

I was able to take care of my siblings even while I was still in the university. At the end of the day I was able to pay my bills and tuition fees. So though it was a challenge, I will say I was able to embrace and it made me a better and stronger person. The challenge also helped me be have a broader perspective to life. 

What is that one advice of mum’s that has stuck with you till date?

Back in village the then, it was always a warning against getting pregnant. So even when I wanted to go to the university they said, I should get married first and that started with my grandma. My grand mum was skeptical about me going to school with being married.  For me that was the key thing that made me even more determined. With my mum it was always humility; she always said ‘be humble; always know where you are; it is not the end of the world no matter how terrible and no matter how highly placed you are, always remember where you are coming from’. That naturally keeps me humble.

How I met my husband

We actually met in my 300 level and he had just graduated and was serving in Makurdi. I met him through a friend of mine. We instantly clicked because he reminded me so much of my dad. They have so much in common. I felt like my dad must have sent him. His sense of humour, humility and very down to earth nature endeared him more to me. He had similar challenges like I did as he had lost his dad at an early age too. He lost his dad when he was 7 months old. So, he made us click even more. He is such a loving and caring person. When I complain about the losing my dad he tells me ‘you are lucky you knew yours, I don’t have a memory of mine!’ It was love at first sight even though I had my reservations earlier about marrying from my place and all that but when I met him it felt like I was with my father all over again.

My husband is my father, friend, companion, soul mate and my all in one. Back in Markudi, even though it was a lonely town, we found companionship in each other. We had nothing much but we had to be thankful for. 

Most cherished attribute of his

His humility; he is very humble. Those who are very close to him will tell you he is humble to fault. And he is very loving and caring. There are many other things that I cherish about him. He is passionate about his mum. His love for his mum also fascinated me, because it’s rare for a man speak so passionately about his mum. His action towards his mum was so loving and real.  His love for his for his mum has strengthened my relationship with my mother-in-law. 

For the most part that we have been married, we have lived together with mama. When people ask me how I cope with living with my mother-in-law for me it is like living with my mum. It makes our marriage even more interesting and we bond better as a couple.

Most cherished gift

My children are my greatest gift; they are gifts I can’t change for anything. Another gift I cherish the most from anyone is loyalty. It is a very difficult gift to get. I remember BabatundeFashola when a question was put to him at the Senate he responded, ‘May your loyalty never be tested’. For anybody I have come across, for them to be firm in terms of loyalty, I feel indebted to them for life.

Favourite colour

Black and white, most people say maybe that’s what influenced me to study law. Black and white comes to me naturally. But as I grew older, I am getting drawn to other colours. I like peach and other beautiful colours. I like happy colours.

My passion for the ‘Itinochi’(Aso-Oke) material popular with the Okenne people

It comes naturally to me because of my upbringing. As young maidens growing up in Okene, whenever we came back from school, every mother had what we call Oguntoro. It is where they weave the clothes. Every household had it. Some had even up to five or more. So when we came back from school, we were either taking care of the thread or weaving it. I remember even growing up they didn’t allow little ones to go close to it. They used to cover it with a piece of cloth. I used to sneak in to learn how they made the designs. So in the end I was able to practice it and make it. And I became a better person at it hence; I was able to make the one we used to back babies and the headgear. I discovered that as a people, we lost track somehow. The women stopped making it because of low patronage but I want us to embrace it the way our Yoruba sisters have embraced theirs. This way, we more women can be empowered in the process.

You look glam for your age. What’s your secret?

Contentment! Once you’re able to find peace from within, it will radiate. But if you are sad, no matter what you have on, it will reflect on you. Apart from that I take a lot of water and fruits. I also use shea butter a lot. Growing up we usually used ‘ososoro’ and ‘ude’ for our hair. I use ‘ososoro’ during the day and other products at night. I exercise by walking and also go to the spa once in a while, especially after I put to bed.

First app I check in the morning and at bedtime

I am generally not a social media person, however I do check whatsapp to enable me respond to messages that I must have missed during the day. I use it more at the weekend.

Best travel destination

I love Seychelles and Jos for Nigeria. I love Seychelles because of the beach and I am a lover of nature, probably because of my upbringing. I love green environment, its peace and serenity. I have actually never been to Jos but I love the weather. We are blessed in this part of the world, the weather, and green atmosphere. Almost the same as Seychelles only that there is no beach. I like Europe and America maybe for shopping; with my kids they like Dubai.

Favourite food and drink

I like white soup and vegetable soup. I love coca cola but I don’t take it often. A glass of chilled coke in a glass after a long day with fried fish egg is always a treat for me. I also love natural juice and coconut fried rice.

Best Preacher

Mufti Menk, I never miss any of his lectures when he is in town.

Three things I cherish 

Allah, my husband and my children

Favourite designer

When I was younger, it was mostly English wears but after marriage it has been simple, unique and classy styles. I wear the itinochi, Ankara and accessorize with the perfect jewelry. 

Last book I read and how it has impacted on me

The book my ‘His Excellency MuhammaduBuhari, ‘A New Beginning’. I am till reading it. It is really inspiring to see how humble he has been all through his life. My favourite part of that book is his upbringing. It is so humbling and further affirms the fact that regardless of where and how you were born, if God has destined you for greatness, there is nothing that will stop you. You will keep moving and doors will just keep opening and the sky will be your starting point. So the book has really inspired me.

What wouldn’t you be caught wearing

Anything that will expose my body is a no! no! 

Definition of style

Look sexy and classy not sexy and trashy. Covering your hair or wearing your natural hair doesn’t make you any less beautiful. 

Favourite music always on replay

I love music a lot but my mood determines the kind of music I listen to. I listen to inspirational songs, when I think of my father I play more of Luther Vandross; I love 2Face’s and Asa’s songs because of their inspiration and soul. I listen to old music too, like Phil Collins. I just love timeless songs. Of recent I love P Square’s and TimiDakolo’s songs and I also love Maher Zain’s songs, he sings Islamic songs.

Joys of motherhood

Nothing can be compared with it. It is just like the icing on the cake. I feel so lucky and I think for any woman who Allah blesses with the joy of motherhood I think she should consider herself lucky because no task on this earth can compare to being a mother. It is so rewarding and in the end I would say your offspring keep you going after you have gone because of whatever you impacted on them. I pray for women looking for the fruit of the womb, that Allah blesses them with children. 

Role models

I had different role models growing up. Top of the list was Princess Diana. I love her humility, her ability to give back constantly and how far she has gone in life and still chose to impact on the lives of the people that were not so fortunate and how her case has inspired people even after death. Another person is Oprah Winfrey. How Oprah gives so much and the more she gives the more she increases and I love so many things about her. I listen to Oprah masterclass a lot. It is really inspiring. Nelson Mandela is amongst my role models too. 

And of course on top of the list is my husband. He is such a go-getter. He makes me feel that whatever you put your mind to, work for it, be focused and pray about it and don’t ever feel like you can’t achieve it. He is that sort of person that even when I wonder if this dream achievable, he says ‘Baby there is nothing you can’t achieve, just put your mind to it’.

Looking back, what would you tell a younger you?

I would tell her what I still did growing up, because looking back now I never really had that person apart from my parents that would say go this way and not that way. I found out for reasons I can’t explain that they have been that propelling force behind me, making me focused and consistent in what I am doing and I was never afraid of taking risks. I was always content. So I would still do the same thing all over again without changing anything.