My boldest step

No wonder you sounded so excited when you called to tell me about it, you have got a lovely new home.’ I said to my friend Kubra, while walking next to her in the hallway towards the sitting room. ‘Since when did you move here?’

‘Just a fortnight ago. I only finished settling in last week and so I decided to let all of you know, that way you won’t be going to my old house to look for me.’ She replied, smiling.

‘Yes, it’s a good thing you’d let us know early enough. Though frankly, I never imagined you living anywhere apart from your old house. You seemed to love that house and every inch of it had your signature touch in the form of it’s decor and serenity. I never thought wild horses can drag you away from there.’ I joked. ‘Coming this way to see you will definitely take getting used to. But, like I said earlier, this house is also beautiful and will soon feel like home to all of us.’ I observed, looking around the tastefully-furnished sitting room.

‘Yes, I believe so too. And like you said, I also always thought I will live in that house all my life but fate had a different plan and today I’ve found myself in another one.’ She answered rather sadly. I turned back to look at her and noticed her smile was gone and she was looking down at her hands.

‘Let me get you something to drink before I show you around the house Bint.’ Kubra said, rising up.

‘So how did you find this place? I mean it’s very far from your old home so you can’t say you’ve been passing by and admiring it.’ I said, while taking the glass of fruit juice from her.

‘No, this place was found for me just days before I left the old house. Luckily for me, the owner was ready to accept a down payment of 50% before I moved in. The rest will be paid as soon as I’m able to dispose of the old family home I inherited from my father. From what I’ve been told my inheritance is worth, I’ll be able to pay the balance of the money for this house and even have something remaining.’ Kubra explained.

‘But why are you doing all the paying, what percentage will your husband contribute?’ I asked.

‘Nothing, because he won’t be living here with us.’ She replied.

‘Really, are you two divorced or something?’ I asked, surprised.

‘Not quite, because he has not issued any formal divorce letter but I’ve walked out on the marriage and have no wish to ever get back with him.’ She answered.

‘But why did you do this, don’t you know that you are exposing your children to a broken home? How can you not care about their fate before you embarked on this?’ I demanded.

‘It’s not what you think Bint. I didn’t choose to move out because I wanted to but because I was forced to. You see my husband had never really been the one supporting this family, I have been. When we met he had introduced himself as a businessman. After our marriage I discovered that he was just a glorified hustler who would occasionally hit the jackpot and get something to spend. The moment I landed my first job, less than a year after our marriage, he stopped even the hustling.

He became a freeloader who was totally supported by me. I tried all I could to get him to either look for work or start some kind of self-empowerment project but all in vain. He was always full of excuses to avoid rising up to go and work. I soon realised I was married to a lazy man. I kept all this to myself and resolved to do my best as the breadwinner of this family. Almighty Allah blessed my efforts and I kept doing well at my job and was getting promoted. Despite childbearing and rearing I picked all our bills, paid school fees and clothed us. You people never knew I had a dependent husband because I never complained about him. Now after 15 years of tolerating this he decided to take a new wife. What’s more, he decided to bring her into our house because after all it was his house….’

‘But how was he able to afford that house, or were you paying the rent too?’ I asked, interrupting her.

‘No, the house was a gift from his rich uncle. The one who also apparently foot the bill for our wedding. Of course, over the years, I’d renovated the house and redecorated it but the truth is, the house is legally his. So after the wedding, he brought his bride into our guest wing. I was determined to look the other way since he was within his rights, islamically, but I soon discovered something I wasn’t ready to do. That is, feed the two of them.

About a week after his bride was brought in, I chanced upon him in the kitchen giving instructions that certain food items should be moved to the guest wing. I immediately reminded him about who bought that food and who had been buying food in the house, for the past 15 years.

He began to argue that he had the right to feed whoever he brought into the house because the house was his. But I advised him to go and tell his bride to start working and feeding him since that’s the family tradition. He warned that I wouldn’t get away with that since he will throw me out of the house if I continued to refuse them access to my foodstuffs. And there and then I told him he was welcome to throw me out because I’d rather leave than allow him to feed himself and his new wife from my storeroom.

He turned and left angrily. But I was already rattled by his threat. I didn’t think I deserved that after so many years of sacrifice. So the very next day I took the boldest step I ever took in my life. I looked for estate agents and began to look for a house. When I was packing I told him that I was through with the marriage and I’ll be waiting for my formal divorce letter. He is yet to send it.’ She concluded.

‘In that case please don’t press for it. Maybe what you’ve done now will make him go out into the world and become self-reliant. It might make him start supporting you and his children, so you better leave the door open for reconciliation. Like I said earlier don’t expose your children to a broken home, unless you can’t help it.’ I admonished.

‘Okay Hajiya Bint, I won’t press for the divorce but I certainty won’t have him here unless he can feed and support his children henceforth.’ Kubra resolved.